The Alchemy of Happiness follows Aloysius Williams and his adventures in search of the meaning and practice of happiness. This satire on religion, culture and prejudice will challenge the history buffs and delight all lovers of tall-tales and happy endings.
What's an elf to do? Ladies, ready for another giggle-snort filled mystery? Darn that Nicky Stromboli! He’s the reason BJ has to get a job moonlighting as a winter elf. She swears that the glitter-tights that come with her costume were designed by the devil himself as a torture device. Lucky for BJ, she's crowned the new Queen Wintergreen. Whoop! More money and no tights. But wearing a wedding dress infected with death-cooties might be more than she signed up for. Join BJ, Kay, and Twinkles at Jamesburg’s very own Winter Wonderland, where anything can happen, even murder. Quinn and Glasneck, high on the beer fumes from a signing party at a local brewery, decided to take a step away from their usual writing styles to put together a new mystery (for anyone who wants a laugh) in the style of Janet Evanovich’s Stephanie Plum novels – that is if Stephanie had a younger southern cousin, who ran a bar, and had a thing for police uniforms.
When it’s your 10th year of fundraising for charity it’s hard to find a new idea. The women come up with a scheme to benefit the local hospice but it goes way past their comfort zone. Can they, should they, go ahead? Then there’s the matter of the Board of Trustees – men who are bound to oppose the women on anything that steps out of the domestic sphere. A humorous story for readers of women’s and contemporary fiction.
Tony Flaner is a malingering part-time comedian, full-time sarcastic, who’s never had it hard, and never finished a thing in his life. He’s had twelve years to prepare for his divorce and didn’t. He had his entire life to choose a career and hasn’t. Now time’s up, and he’s in a world of trouble. But it gets worse—a first date and a drunken party ends with Tony facing prison for the murder of a girl he hardly knew. But other than that, it was a pretty great party. To save himself, wise-cracking Tony must discover who the mysterious girl was, what she was involved in and what the hell she saw in him in the first place. Their lives are linked together at the ends of a Chinese finger trap, like life and death, friends and enemies, arugula quiche and pigs knuckles. Winner of the League of Utah Writers Diamond Quill for Best Book of the Year.
Solomon Knight discloses the origins of the International League of Paladins and their raison d'etre. This is a book of mystery and action. Exposing a sinister plot to attain power and wealth through the suffering of millions of cancer patients is afoot, can it be stopped? Death will point its bony finger at a murderer and a Paladin with his unique team for backup uncovers an international plot to create a New World Order. Last, but certainly not least, the secret to the Philosopher's Stone and eternal life will be revealed in the final chapter.
"A one-of-a-kind romantic-comedy that shouldn't work but masterfully does." Never Ending Bookshelf “As moving as it is funny, with wonderful characters and a fabulous light touch.” Artisan Book Reviews "Fun characters, in messy situations, get the feeling senses working overtime." Happy Valley Reads “I love this quirky story. This will have you giggling.” Blaise Van, Goodreads, 5-Stars When you've had two dream marriages, choosing your eternal soulmate in heaven is one hell of a dilemma. Can you have more than one soulmate at the same time? After two blissful marriages are cut short by tragic circumstances, Peter’s own early entry to heaven fills him with skepticism. Peter soon faces an impossible choice: with both wives Up Here, which woman is his eternal soulmate? Christina and Jane have their own issues to resolve, especially considering they were best friends. From two marriages made in heaven, all three now have one hell of a dilemma. And with Peter’s mother Up Here, too … well, she’s got her opinion! The debut novel from Australian film & TV pioneer Jim Shomos. Up Here is a unique love-triangle featuring two dynamic women and one ro-man-tic; it’s a feel-good exploration of a modern romantic dilemma that asks the age-old question: what if?
Your chance to buy the three hilarious Crouch End Confidential cozy mystery series in one bargain box set. Follow the misadventures of bored chaotic housewife, Cathy, as she starts out investigating a lipstick-covered love postcard to husband Declan and discovers a talent for exposing murderers and running her own detective agency. Looking for La La – Cathy, world’s least organized mother, finds her predictable marriage upturned as she investigates a lipstick-covered love postcard sent to husband, Declan. Could Declan really be having an affair? And why do all her friends seem to be hiding secrets? With a handsome artist admirer igniting long-forgotten sparks and the scheming antics of Declan’s new assistant, it's obvious Cathy’s marriage is in jeopardy. But there is also a killer on the loose. To Catch a Creeper – Cathy’s brand-new job at a top London advertising agency gets derailed when enemies sabotage her new career. With husband Declan apparently in the throes of a nervous breakdown, she hides her shameful secret with a double life of lies and deception. Meanwhile there’s a burglar, the notorious Crouch End Creeper, terrorising their neighbourhood and Cathy’s attempts to expose him will put more than her own life in danger. Meddling with Murder – Cathy’s new investigative agency, Crouch End Confidential, is failing badly since she’s too soft to charge their little old lady clients. But just as Declan deci ...
“Danger was part of my job description, but none of my contingency plans anticipated an attack by a Maine Coon.” It’s summer on Whisper Island. Ex-cop-turned-private-investigator Maggie Doyle is looking forward to sun, fun, and romance. Instead, she gets bills, an assault allegation, and a busted wrist. To add insult to injury, there’s a movie being filmed on the island, and Maggie’s diva sister has been cast in it—her debut role. While other residents clamor for parts as extras, Maggie wants nothing to do with the shoot. But when hotshot director Con Ryder asks Maggie to investigate a series of suspicious accidents on the movie set, she can’t afford to refuse. Maggie and her UFO-obsessed assistant, Lenny, go undercover as extras, with Lenny intent on enjoying every second of the experience, and Maggie determined to solve the mystery and leave as quickly as possible. Maggie’s hopes for a quick-fix solution are shot to pieces when the woman who accused her of assault turns up dead.
HETTA COFFEY IS A SASSY TEXAN WITH A SNAZZY YACHT, AND SHE'S NOT AFRAID TO USE IT! Just Add Water, winner of the National EPPIE Award for BEST MYSTERY. Hetta Coffey is a globe-trotting civil engineer with a swath of failed multi-national affairs in her jet stream. Plying the San Francisco waterfront, trolling for triceps, her attention is snagged by a parade of passing yachts—especially their predominantly male skippers—and experiences a champagne-induced epiphany: If she had a boat, she could get a man. In spite of a spectacular ignorance of all things nautical, Hetta buys her dream boat, but a shadowy stalker, an inconvenient body, and Hetta’s own self-destructive foibles imperil her goal. Hetta Coffey brings a whole new meaning to the phrase “sink or swim!”
Dorothy Parker Award; First digital book nominated for Romantic Times Reviewer’s Choice Award A comedy romance suspense novel Her mom has been hoping a man would fall in Stan’s lap. But when a handsome spy dives through the sunroof of her car, Isabel “Stan” Stanley’s pretty sure this wasn't what her mom had in mind. A cute smile can help with—but not hide—the hail of bullets. And that name? Oh my that name. CIA agent Kelvin Kapone-with-a-K has managed to survive and thrive in the big bad world, but the ‘burbs and the wannabe romance author could be his greatest challenge in getting out alive, not to mention heart whole…
“The funniest book of the year” Are you sick of a society that seems obsessed with children? Do you find modern parents insufferable? Your Children Are Boring is a uniquely humorous look at our culture’s obsession with children, a world where virtually every advert has a squawking child in it, where pubs are full of wailing infants, and where every other Facebook post is tagged #ProudDad. Why do parents themselves behave like infants? Why having a child doesn’t make you less selfish, why it’s extremely unlikely that your child is in fact, ‘special’, and why modern parenting is ruining everything, not least the kids themselves. All the answers lie within, and it’s your duty to read it. Yes, Your Children Are Boring will make you laugh, but it’s much more than that. Once consumed you must take its teachings into the world and fix society. Or something. Oh and if you put ‘Dad’ or ‘Mum’ in your social media bios, this book is aimed at you.
Warning: This book may be a choking hazard if read while eating or drinking. If you’re a fan of Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey, then you’re going to love Amusing Musings. Get ready to enjoy the most hilarious book of the year. This hysterical compilation of profound thoughts and hilarious one liners will make you laugh until you cry. Relish ridiculously "profound" quotes such as these: “I bet a popular joke in the medieval days was to sneak up behind a knight and stick a “kick me” sign on his armor with a magnet.” “I think it would be a good idea if scientists invented a new fruit. It should look like an orange, but, ‘surprise’, it tastes like a watermelon. Also, it screams when you peel it.” “If cats could talk, I bet that when they cleaned themselves they’d never shut up about how good they taste.” If you are a fan of non-sequitur comedy in the style of Mitch Hedburg, Steven Wright, or Saturday Night Live’s Jack Handey, then read this outrageously entertaining book now!
Top Customer Reviews 5.0 out of 5 starsI really enjoyed this book By Ben I really enjoyed this book even though I had not read the previous book The Paladin Project: A Legend is Born (The Paladin Project Chronicles Book 1) I soon caught up with the characters and who was who, but I do advise readers to read the previous books to gain even more enjoyment from this edition. The characters are very well written and all move through an interesting plot concerning the sinister antics of the mysterious Shadow man. Though I thought a couple of events were over too quickly and with a bit of a rewrite, extra tension and excitement could be added to the story, that is my humble opinion, but it did not distract from the story. I liked that it was set in Scotland, a country I have visited and driven through many times. The author has captured the settings and atmosphere of the locations the book is set in, adding to my reading pleasure. I can highly recommend this book so give it a try as it's a little gem waiting to be discovered. I received this book free and though I was under no obligation to leave a review I enjoyed the book and so I have shared my experience here.
#1 in THE DEAD RED MYSTERY SERIES Like Janet Evanovich? Sue Grafton? You’ll love this humorous mystery series! Deeply buried and deadly secrets resurface with a drowned Cadillac Her trophy red Caddy has been hijacked and now police ask how an elderly woman, who couldn’t possibly see beyond the hood ornament, is found strapped into the driver’s seat and six feet under water?
Makeup. Mannequins. Murder. When ex-cop-turned-P.I. Maggie Doyle scores a lucrative undercover job at the makeup counter at a fashionable Galway department store, she expects discounted lipstick and an easy paycheck. After an altercation with a customer leads to a dead body in Maggie’s bathtub, she and her assistant realize there’s more to the department store case than missing cash. Can they catch the killer before the holidays? Or will the festive season end in an explosion of tinsel and turmoil?
t’s 1980. And at summer camp, there are some rules: 1.When making out with your boyfriend in his cabin, be sure not to draw attention to any of his odd collectibles… and we don’t mean his action figures. 2.Do not, under any circumstances, tell your sister what you found. 3.If you do tell your sister, accept that you’re toast. This is a short story. If you enjoy tales of sisterhood, humorous antics, and sweet, sweet revenge, this story is for you.
FINALIST - 2013 Next Generation Indie Book Awards (Humor/Humour) FINALIST - 2013 National Indie Excellence Book Awards (Humor/Humour) Think you've got it bad? You ain't seen nothing yet. Murphy's Law, meet Rodney's Law. If it can go wrong, it has already happened to Rodney Lacroix in the worst, most comedic way humanly possible. And you'll find all of those stories right here, in full-color detail, right in this book. Things Go Wrong For Me (when life hands you lemons, add vodka) is a memoir of sorts, a roadmap of Rodney Lacroix's haywire life thus far. If you think you're having a bad day, this book is a great reminder that it can always get worse. This is typically at Rodney Lacroix's expense, sadly for him. There's no doubt, if you enjoy snorting milk through your nose, and you're drinking milk right now ... you're going to love this book.
Johnny continues his quest to find a spot in the working world and thinks he has finally found the solution: clientele who are in cages and verbally refuse his service. But when Johnny is given more responsibility than he should have, the animals, the customers, and the entire city are in for trouble.
Bridget Sway is newly dead. And confused. Instead of cloud cars and harp-playing cherubs, the afterlife is working a full-time job that doesn’t pay and a heinous communal living situation with housemates who have no concept of privacy or personal space. As if that wasn’t bad enough, on her first day at work Bridget finds a dead ghost stuffed in her locker. With the afterlife police looking to pin the murder on Bridget, her new best friend and ex-PI, Sabrina, suggests they solve the murder themselves. But with a handsome parole officer watching her every move and the afterlife police dogging her every step, solving the murder is easier than it sounds. If you like sassy heroines who break all the rules, laugh out loud humour and whodunnits that keep you guessing until the very end, then tag along with Bridget Sway on her afterlife adventures.
The four MacLeod sisters are no strangers to sisterly rivalry and with one of them about to be married, there are bound to be fireworks. Perfectionist Natalie wants the 'wedding of the year'. Harassed mother, Milly, just wishes her bridesmaid's dress wasn't the size of a tent. Career-obsessed Avril secretly moons over a married man and world traveler, Hazel, the youngest, yearns to be taken seriously. Forced together for the first time in years, and with an unexpected guest stirring up old resentments, squabbles are inevitable. But when tragedy strikes things really fly apart - as some shocking skeletons emerge rattling from the crowded MacLeod closet...
There's a prankster in all of us. Whether you're carving evil messages into your coworker's banana peel or telling your kids that, yes, raisins are actually dehydrated people, there's a certain, sinister-yet-fun draw to really messing with people. In Perhaps I’ve Said Too Much (the much anticipated follow-up to the heralded, award-winning Things Go Wrong For Me), Rodney Lacroix gives the reader some insight on what it's like to live the prankster life. No one is safe, including Rodney himself as not all of his antics go entirely as planned. Join him as he spins some yarns, gives you some new ideas and lets you relive the catastrophic consequences of jokes gone terribly wrong. Complete with original hand-drawn artwork and graphics, one-two punch Brain Nuggets, and the ever-popular Draw Something Files, Perhaps will not disappoint.* (Assumes you are an immature child who enjoys potty humor and making fart noises with your armpits.)
The follow up to this years amazing premiere MISSING AMANDA, Lou, Monk and Cassie are hired to find...Nazis. In America in 1960, the idea of Nazis is crazy. But Lou meets one then a whole crowd of them. They have a plan, too; a mysterious plot that Lou and Monk will have to discover to save the life of their client, an old woman who survived the camps in WWII. Both thrilling and hilarious, with clever writing and drop dead action, SERIOUSLY...? is a delight from beginning to the TWO surprise endings.
A provocative and humorous novel about four years in the life of an intrepid young medical student, set in the grueling world of an elite NYC medical school. “…the best fictional portrayal of med school since ER.” – BlueInk Review, starred review 2017 International Book Awards Bronze Medal Winner in Fiction - Humor/Comedy (Readers' Favorite) and INDIES Book of the Year Finalist Medical student Seth Levine faces escalating stress and gallows humor as he struggles with the collapse of his romantic relationships and all preconceived notions of what it means to be a doctor. It doesn’t take long before he realizes not getting frazzled is the least of his problems. Seth encounters a student so arrogant he boasts that he’ll eat any cadaver part he can’t name, an instructor so dedicated she tests the student’s ability to perform a gynecological exam on herself, and a woman so captivating that Seth will do whatever it takes to make her laugh, including regaling her with a story about a diagnostic squabble over an erection. Didn’t Get Frazzled captures with distressing accuracy the gauntlet idealistic college grads must face to secure an MD and, against the odds, come out of it a better human being.
Johnny Books 1-3 make up The Organized Crime Trilogy. Johnny Tee is a wandering vagabond with a troubled past and an even bleaker future. His decision to go the straight and narrow goes haywire when he gets mixed up in the city's dirty underbelly. Coming out on top is going to be tougher than he thinks due to the fact that he is both a magnet for trouble and a complete moron. It's going to take the power of some unwilling friends and some unrequited love to save the day.
When a staunch atheist is introduced to the Lord Almighty in the most casual—and childish—way, it's not the end of the world. It's a Tuesday. Bradley Michaels is just another man ending just another workday at just another job. He can list the usual complaints, can point his finger at the usual causes, and he can go about his routine as if one day is absolutely no different from the next. Until God himself just shows up uninvited and shakes up Bradley's entire existence by flaunting his own. It's not fair, but Bradley never claimed life is. And he tries to handle the new, omniscient presence in his head with calm attention and cool collectedness. But God happens to be a bit of a kid. He likes to joke, to prod, to stir things up. And what God sets his mind to, God succeeds at. Just as Bradley believes he's got life all figured out, God has to throw a wrench into it. But not at all in the way that Bradley—or you—can expect. Just when you think life is going according to plan, you find out your plan sucks. And it's time for a new one.
#4 in THE DEAD RED MYSTERY SERIES Fans of Janet Evanovich LOVE this series A lonely young artist with a dangerous sideline results in murder A wanna be lawman and his shotgun toting granddad A priceless antique race car and an unfortunate Emu When Lalla and her dad take a trip to Arizona to inspect her new property, Dad disappears. Panicked that he's lost in the desert, Lalla enlists the help of a local tracker and finds him unharmed−in the bottom of a mine pit along with a very dead local police chief. Oddly, a young artist from an art colony up the road will be found strangled in her bed. What're the chances that these two murders are going to be related? Well, if you're Lalla Bains, you don't guess, you start looking for the killer!
Cute for kids, a bit twisted and funny for adults! A Guppy??
But I wanted a Puppy! Guppy Butter is the darkly humorous tale of a young girl's wish for a puppy, but who ends up getting a Guppy instead.
She tries her best to meet her father's demands that if she can keep a fish alive, she'll be allowed to get a puppy.
Tragedy after humorous tragedy ensues as she endures the taunts of her older brother and does her best to keep her fishies alive!
Complimented by the amazing art of artist Amanda Gielen, this illustrated tale will leave you laughing!
Cheese Tarts and Fluffy Socks: Complex, Enthralling Romance Novel Proves Sex & Work is a Cocktail Best Left Unshaken The most recent in a long line of celebrated romance novels from Nikki Ashton, ‘Cheese Tarts and Fluffy Socks’ zeroes in on a steamy one-night stand that, unknown to either party, is about to kick-off a working relationship that is far more than awkward. A hotel badly in need of investment, a young entrepreneur has been sent in to decide if it’s a good investment, but the daughter of the owner is…well…you get the picture. Darrington Hall hotel is barely keeping afloat, and it's up to Holly Jenkins to save it. Jumping from one crisis to another, dealing with an errant father, irate guests and enduring some highly charged professional differences with the man that Holly can't get out of her head, and it looks certain that she will fail. Against the backdrop of a crumbling hotel, Cheese Tarts and Fluffy socks is a great read with funny and witty dialogue. Interspersed with some dramatic moments is a complex, fun and sexy love story that will make you smile and give you a warm glow.
Librarian Janet Johnson is puzzled when she is invited—and practically dragged—to her first meeting of the Rejected Writers’ Book Club. This quirky group of women would much rather celebrate one another’s rejected manuscripts over cups of tea and slices of lemon cake than actually publish a book. But good friends are exactly what Janet needs after moving to the small town of Southlea Bay, Washington. Just as the ladies are about to raise a teacup to their five hundredth rejection letter, they receive bad news that could destroy one member’s reputation—and disband the group forever. To save the club, Janet joins her fellow writers on a wild road trip to San Francisco in search of the local publisher who holds the key to a long-buried secret. As they race to the finish line, they’ll face their fears—landslides, haunted houses, handsome strangers, ungrateful children—and have the time of their lives.
For fans of SNL'S DEEP THOUGHTS BY JACK HANDEY and BILLY COLLINS, a new book of humor from New York Times bestseller Andrew Shaffer. In his debut chapbook, bestselling humorist Andrew Shaffer explores alienation in its myriad forms, from cultural (“Don’t try to explain Fortnite to me/I don’t care”) to romantic (“We’ll always have that poem about Paris”). Playful, hilarious, and affectingly human, Shaffer’s poetry will bring a smile to the face of anyone who has ever felt like an alien in this world.
Knowing you're dying can be murder. When Gage Adder finds out he has inoperable pancreatic cancer, things really start to look up for him. He leaves his soul-crushing job, joins a nice terminal illness support group, and takes up an exciting new hobby: Serial killing.
It's a day just like any other day... until something utterly unfamiliar suddenly lands in your back yard. Susan is the epitome of the happy housewife, contentedly conducting her daily ritual of cleaning her home and keeping everything just as it should be. Wrapped up in her own little world within those familiar walls, she hardly notices the altogether different arrival in her own back yard. She may ignore the sudden shaking beneath her slippered feet, she might even neglect to spot the conspicuous sight itself—but she can't evade the stench. Something's wrong. Very wrong. And Susan's incapable of determining just what to do about the uninvited eyesore in her back yard. Turning to her best friend for help with the impromptu emergency threatening to shake up her very existence and happy home, Susan combines efforts with neighbor Trisha to decipher the composition and meaning of the frightfully large and utterly unpleasant new arrival. But are these two women really capable of realizing the gift of new awareness they've just been given by an unseen entity? Or will they continue to fail to see the world that exists out there? What a difference a day makes... unless you choose to ignore it.
If you can't stand the pressure... ask your mother to stop pointing the gun at your head. Steven is a writer, by all accounts of self-proclamation. But no artist can be expected to work under serious pressure, especially not when the pressure consists of his own mother indenting his tender skull with the muzzle of the pistol held in her hand. Suddenly, it's write or die for Steven. He better tap away on that typewriter or expect to be extracted from the land of the living before he's had the opportunity to finish anything he's ever written. Not to mention that his recently departed Father lying on the floor beside him should supply enough motivation. When Steven manages to frustrate his murderous mother to no end, his wish made under duress actually comes true. Mother's vanished... along with all evidence of the foregoing incident ever having taken place. Is his beloved father really dead? Is his own mother now a criminal on the run? Can he truly never cure his lifetime disease of writer's block? Only one person can uncover the truth and set the world to rights again. That would be Tim, Steven's much more successful, though younger, brother. If only Tim would actually believe Steven's retelling of the frightful situation he's just managed to survive. Someone's got to fix the latest family faux pas. And everyone in the family knows it can't be Steven. In the dead of night, two brothers battle sibling rivalry, serious mother issues, one heinous surprise after another, and a lif ...
What on earth do a dead tomato plant and a paycheck have in common? Maryann Miller explores the fun and foibles of how to survive parenting a large family, while vainly keeping body and mind intact. From School Daze to Summertime Blues, and everything in between, the book airs the Miller laundry with all the holes and missing buttons. She answers important family questions such as: What's for dinner? Who wrote the dirty words on the wall? Can we really pee in the woods? Do the kids really like the dog better than Mom? Readers of the humor column, from which this books comes, delighted in The Great Lasagna Caper, the fits of tantrum that demolished a telephone, The Lawn Wars, who is and who isn't Socially Acceptable, and the crazy dinnertime conversations. Those readers could relate, as will mothers and father and kids today. Nothing really changes all that much in family dynamics. Just the names are changed to protect the innocent.
WARNING to prospective readers as to this title’s potentially shocking and disturbing (read: X-RATED!!!) graphic and literary content: A reviewer at LITERARY TITAN, though giving this book a five-star rating, finalized his review with the caveat: “To the intrigued reader, beware, this book is quite a dirty sex crazed romp. Conservatives better brace themselves, keep a bible handy, and an open mind because you will hate how much you enjoy the erotic quality of this book … The erotica may be a little strong for some but if read with an open and relaxed mind, this is a very enjoyable and entertaining ride.”
This musically and graphically enriched chamber novel is an over-the-top black and blue comic extravaganza about the conspiratorial undoing of a teenage entitlement princess. The story throbs throughout with an undercurrent of apocalyptic motifs related to the extinction of art, fall of empire, and coming of the Antichrist. It is an epic farce that reads like an erotically supercharged psychological suspense thriller. The narrative takes the reader/audient on a veritable boomerang roller-coaster ride (with multiple inversions) through a reputational strip-and-whiptease of the novel’s malignantly artful (albeit ingenuously doe-eyed) protagonist: a wealthy young heiress and socialite who boasts an exclusive claim to her progenitors ...
This tale of Agnes Anne O’Neil, a 28 year-old virgin who struggles to leave home, will both captivate and tickle your funny bone. You’ll meet her wacky Irish Catholic family, her favorite saints and pet snail, and the evil that pursues her. You’ll chuckle when she introduces her Jewish boyfriend to her parents and worry when her brother-in-law, obsessed with her virginity, won’t leave her alone. Can she escape both her clinging family and her brother-in-law’s lecherous advances?
DISCOVER THIS SIZZLING SERIES OF COZY MYSTERIES SET IN THE SWEEPING LANDSCAPE OF NORFOLK. A man lies dead, deep in an excavation trench, an angry villager's signature on a damming piece of evidence, and a race against time to discover the truth. When the corpse of a hated local man is discovered, smelling of whiskey and with his head split open, the police conclude its suicide. Ant and Lyn aren't convinced, and as they uncover disturbing clues that point to murder, the amateur sleuths have only days to prove their theory before DI Riley closes the case - and leave a killer on the loose. Set in the evocative landscape of Norfolk, this baffling cozy murder mystery with its thread of humour and hint of romance between our two lead characters, will keep you on the edge of your seat until the very end. Dead Man's Trench is the first book in the Norfolk Cozy Mystery series that features fast-paced action, surprising plot twists and compelling characters. If you like the Faith Martin, Joy Ellis or Betty Rowland's Mysteries, then you'll love Keith Finney's Norfolk Cozy Mystery thrillers. Pick up Dead Man's Trench to discover this exciting series today! This book was published initially under the pen name, Nigel Lockwood.
PLEASE NOTE: Only the first 10 requesters will receive free books. BUT: Amazon has the 4-book AGGIE MUNDEEN series on sale for $8.97 at http://tinyurl.com/AggieMundeen. In DANG NEAR DEAD, Aggie, Detective Sam (traveling incognito) and friend Meredith vacation at a dude ranch, a prickly destination for dudes. Besides wranglers, ex-cons and critters, what could go wrong? When an expert rider flies off a horse, Home on the Range means murder. Chanticleer Award Finalist: Mystery & Mayhem. “Intricate plot with a satisfying ending. Bursts of humor in this novel had me roaring with laughter.” _Diana M. Hockley, reviewer for Australia and NetGalley.
Postmen. Poltergeists. Poteen. When former San Francisco cop, Maggie Doyle, extends her stay in Ireland, dealing with more murder and mayhem isn’t on her to-do list. The instant Maggie and her UFO-enthusiast friend discover the dead body of the Whisper Island postman, Maggie’s plans to chill for the next two months are put on ice. After Police Sergeant Reynolds, Maggie’s handsome neighbor, arrests Lenny’s brother for the murder, her friend begs her to find the real killer. Meanwhile, Maggie is hired to investigate ghostly goings on at the Whisper Island Hotel. Can she solve two crimes before St. Patrick’s Day? Or will the island’s annual celebrations end in a glittery flame of green, white, and orange?
#5 in THE DEAD RED MYSTERY SERIES Like Janet Evanovich? Sue Grafton? You’ll love this humorous mystery series! Your dirt-bag boss is murdered, what a relief, right? Until his killer lets you know a list you don’t have means you’re next. Thinking to jump start their careers as private investigators, Lalla and Pearlie Bains partner with an unscrupulous P.I. But their nifty plan starts circling the drain when he dies in a house explosion and his missing blackmailing list becomes puts the two women in line for murder. Find it and they might get to live. All they need is a miracle or two.
Shelby Nichols is an average woman who is married to the only guy she ever fell for. Her life is organized and predictable, revolving around her husband and two children. All that changes the day she stops at the grocery store for some carrots. As the cashier rings up her purchases, a gunman is busy robbing the bank inside the store. When a customer grabs the robber’s mask, he is shot and everyone runs for cover. Everyone except Shelby, who finds herself face to face with the killer. The next thing she knows, she’s lying on the floor with a bullet wound to her head. Luckily, the bullet only grazes her scalp, and she doesn’t suspect any lasting affects until later, when she suddenly ‘hears’ what people are thinking. With this uncanny ability, her life takes on a whole new dimension. Her kids think she’s bossy and too old to understand them, but that’s nothing compared to her husband. He says he loves her, but what is it about the redhead at work that he doesn’t want her to know? As if that isn’t enough, the gunman knows she can identify him, and he’s out to silence her forever. In her fight to stay alive, she is saved from certain death by a handsome hit-man with ties to organized crime. This pulls Shelby even deeper into danger, where knowing someone’s thoughts can not only hurt her feelings, but get her killed.
Ladies, do you need a good giggle-snort? Bobbi Jax, AKA BJ is a magnet for trouble. But this time it looks like things are turning themselves around. BJ hits the lottery when her dog, Twinkles, suddenly starts pooping glitter and jewels. It’s almost like BJ has her very own golden goose. Yup, life is turning from bar rags to riches. Sorta. If only BJ could ignore the odd set of characters that pranced into her life. A psychedelic-clothes wearing veteran named Marley, a too-many clothes wearing homeless woman named Duckie, a black-suited funeral director named Lurch (not really, but it seems to fit), and an old high school pal-in-need named Felicia, who wears rainboots to the bar. And if that weren’t enough? Throw in some unicorns and Death Eaters. Why not? Did I mention that Marley likes to light up? No good deed goes unpunished in this romp through the St. Clemmons’ Cemetery. Word to the wise, if you see Kay, hide! Quinn and Glasneck, still high on the beer fumes from a signing party at a local brewery, decided to take a second step away from their usual writing styles to put together a new mystery (for anyone who wants a laugh) in the style of Janet Evanovich’s Stephanie Plum novels – that is if Stephanie had a younger southern cousin, who ran a bar, and had a thing for police uniforms. This is the second book in the Badge Bunny Booze Mystery, but each book is a stand alone in this series and does not have to be read in order.
NASA astronaut Julie Starr knows nothing is earned without blood, sweat, and frizzy hair. Recently returned from orbit, Jules is on her way to becoming the youngest Flight Commander ever. So she isn't about to let a creepy stalker derail her goals. Or a chivalrous, wealthy rancher either, for that matter. Holt West doesn't mess with flirts. And that's exactly what Jules is. He has enough on his plate, working the ranch he inherited from his grandfather while making sure his siblings follow their dreams. He doesn't need to be distracted from his responsibilities by the smart-mouthed, long-legged astronaut clad in leather pants and biker boots. But when Holt's brother and Jules' best friend decide to get married, they're thrown together as best man and maid of honor. Jules takes the opportunity to hide out from her stalker at the West Ranch under the guise of planning the barnyard wedding of a lifetime. She might not know the difference between tulle and toile, but she’s an astronaut for god's sake. How hard could it be? Between Jules vying for a record-breaking promotion while outmaneuvering a stalker and Holt fighting a losing battle with his heart, can the two of them get it together long enough to say yes to the ride of their lives? Or is this mission a no-go?
With finances and marriage strained to the breaking point, Rose and Henry Ball dream of new lives filled with romance and adventure. Then Fortune takes a hand. Against all odds, the couple win a record Powerball lottery. The sudden windfall is the answer to all their prayers. Or not...
Helpless to resist the siren's song, the Balls leap feet first into the intoxicating world of the super-rich. Henry drifts into treacherous waters on a mad Russian oligarch's yacht, while Rose throws caution to the wind and rushes headlong into the arms of a beautiful, dangerous ...
A Mother’s Day trip to the Netherlands turns deadly when a guest plummets from a windmill. Was it an accident or a murder? For Lana Hansen, the answer will mean freedom or imprisonment for someone close to her… Wanderlust Tours guide Lana Hansen and her mother, Gillian, haven’t seen eye to eye in over a decade, ever since Lana was wrongly fired from her job as an investigative reporter. So when Lana’s boss invites Gillian to join her upcoming Mother’s Day tour to the Netherlands, Lana is less than pleased. What could be worse than spending ten days with her estranged mother? Lana is about to find out… The tour begins on a high note when the majority of guests bond during their visit to the Keukenhof flower gardens and a cruise around the picturesque canals of Amsterdam. Despite her initial reservations, Lana thinks this might be the best group she had ever led. Until she discovers one of her guests – a recent retiree named Priscilla – is the person who destroyed her career in journalism. All Lana can see is red. But circumstances dictate that she figure out a way to lead the tour, make peace with her mother, and not murder her guest. She doesn’t know whether she can handle the pressure. Lana needn’t worry. Shortly after their fight, Priscilla falls off the balcony of a historic windmill at Zaanse Schans. Was she pushed or simply careless? The investigating officers suspect murder – and topping their suspect list is Lana’s mom! Can Lana save Gillian? Or will her mother end up ...
Murder. Millionaires. Mankinis. Armed with her newly issued private investigator's license, Maggie Doyle is on the case…of a sheep that went missing twenty-two years ago. When she trips over a dead body on the first day of the investigation, Maggie realizes there’s more to this cold case than a fight over lamb chops. An invitation to spend the weekend with her grandmother’s oldest friend and her family, the super wealthy Huffingtons, gives Maggie the perfect excuse to sniff out the killer. After the family patriarch is electrocuted in the swimming pool, Maggie finds herself embroiled in yet another murder inquiry. With the body count rising, can Maggie catch the killer before they strike again?
"OMG, if ever a book deserved more than 5 stars it’s this cracker. Outstanding, laugh out loud, panty melting goodness all wrapped up in one heartfelt package!"
"Romans having sex again is an hilarious romance of the best kind , witty, sharp and unexpectedly sweet all wrapped up in a very delicious book."
"Absolutely loved this book. Had just the right amount of funny mixed with sexy"
"My life is shite, and more boring than an iced finger – it’s basically bread for goodness sake; where’s the cream? To top it all off, my boss, Roman ‘The Ego’ Hepburn, hates me."
Summer James has suffered a devastating change to her life, one that could shape her future. To make matters worse, she now has a new boss. Not such a major problem, you might think, but not when that boss is Roman Hepburn: rude, grouchy and impatient, with a damn fine ass!
Summer’s feelings for the dark, brooding Roman soon change and it becomes evident that some highly-charged sexual tension has been bubbling under the surface when Roman makes it clear that he intends to make Summer his.
Will Roman succeed in getting his girl, and, if he does, will he succeed in keeping her? Or will circumstances, and Roman's hilariously strange, but loveable, family, send Summer tottering for the hills on her six-inch heels?
This is a sexy, fun romance filled with l ...
NASA engineer Dr. Jackie Darling Lee is a genius about many things... the male species is not one of them (despite the many cowboy romances she reads). Then a little friendly blackmail from a co-worker has Jackie walking into a Texas saloon ready to initiate Operation Social Life. After making friends with her waitress and helping a drunk country beauty get home safely, she thinks she’s off to a good start. Flynn West left his family’s rich ranching life behind after discovering his girlfriend’s gold digging ways. Now he specializes in vintage muscle car restorations in his own shop in Houston. He’s taken women off his radar, until a wild-haired blonde drags his drunk little sister through his front door. The moment he sees those thick, black-framed glasses on that slender nose, Flynn’s captivated. Ignitions ignite, and not just from Flynn’s skills at hot-wiring cars. But in the midst of the International Space Station being threatened and old flames reappearing, can Jackie and Flynn let go of old hang-ups long enough to reach the end of their Happily Ever After countdown? Or will it be a failure to launch?
As a struggling waitress and part-time college student, Rose Strickland’s life is stalled in the slow lane. But when her close friend, Axton, disappears, Rose suddenly finds herself serving up more than hot coffee and flapjacks. Now she’s hashing it out with sexy bad guys and scrambling to find clues in a race to save Axton before his time runs out. With her anime-loving bestie, her septuagenarian boss, and a pair of IT wise men along for the ride, Rose goes from zero to sixty and quickly learns when you’re speeding down the fast lane, it’s easy to crash and burn.
BE THE FIRST TO READ ANNIVERSARY EDITION OF GRADE A STUPID! Stephanie Plum meets Veronica Mars meets The Blacklist in this #1 Amazon Bestseller in Teens Mysteries & Thrillers, Spies and Detective Stories. Darcy Walker is a 15-year-old girl without purpose--pretty but disheveled, clever but directionless, and infatuated with a bad boy. Everything changes when she skips class and finds a dead body. When a fellow misfit is charged with the crime, Darcy goes Mach 1 to clear his name--chasing every dangerous lead and living life like a verb. Trouble is, will she live to see sixteen?
Southlea Bay's favorite sweethearts, Flora and Dan, are getting married and the members of the Rejected Writers' Book Club are excited to help. Especially the group's head honcho, Doris Newberry, who, much to Flora’s frustration, wants to control every detail, attempting to strong-arm Flora into accepting ridiculous wedding vows, wayward bongo players and into wearing a huge, old-fashioned wedding dress. But when a new resident arrives in town with information about Flora's past that threatens her chance of happiness, the overwhelmed bride-to-be disappears overnight. To find her, The Rejected Writers set off on yet another zany road trip adventure, this time to a make-believe Bavarian town. Where they meet lederhosen-clad, young men, are entertained by oompah bands, go on wild sleigh rides, and sing in a yodelling competition. But when they eventually find the bride and the bridegroom learns the truth about her, will he still want to marry her or will all the wedding plans be in vain
“Eclectic, eccentric, and original. Fast-paced. Absurd. Whimsical.” ─ Suidae Gazette
“Cheeky, original, and witty. Wickedly fun!” ─ Bacon Daily News
“Politically incorrect. Genius!” ─ Young Hogs
Whimsical and light-hearted, The Swines is the curious anecdotes of Sam, a twelve-year-old boy from a family of pigs. His mom is an English sow, a British Lop of very high breeding. His dad is a boisterous warthog, the pedigree, no one is quite sure. Sam’s parents are swine, but somehow he’s perfectly normal.
Sam and his family live in a medium sized town named Suidae Valley somewhere in the center of California. His mom enjoys gardening and mud baths. His dad is a booming, retired plumber. He’s a little rough around the edges. The family is piggly, but they fit right in with everyone in town who call themselves Suids.
Told in unique episodic format, Sam is a precocious kid with a talent for imagination, observation, and occasionally, even curious profundity. The narrative is eccentric, novel, and original, ranging from the orthodox to stream of consciousness and reverse chronology.
The Swines ─ Anecdotes Of A Piggly Family, is at times thoughtful, at times absurd, but most of the time fun, as the author takes readers on a journey into the unconventional world at the intersection of humans, pigs, and boy.
Praise for The Swines:
• “Irre ...
Thaniya Rasid grew up in the Middle East dreaming of becoming a surgeon. Now living an ordinary life as a mother, wife and a hospital lab tech in Vancouver, Canada, she garners unexpected fame as youTube’s Queen of Hummus when her video demonstrating the recipe goes viral. How could blending chickpeas in a food processor generate so much excitement? And how could her life have ended up so far away from all her expectations? To make sense of the unlikely events that have brought her to this place, Thaniya turns to food, curating memorable eating experiences of her life, searching for clues. Between her childhood aversion to cucumbers, her search for an authentic Iraqi kubeh in the city of Jerusalem, her 10-year tomato wars with her husband Samih, a mood altering encounter with a blood pudding in Edinburgh, and a Kafkaesque nightmare involving a cauliflower, Thaniya unravels repeated patterns occurring in her life. The secrets of love, friendship and destiny hidden in her cauldron of mishmashed cultures begin to reveal themselves. Between lust and disgust there is a thin line. Spoonful Chronicles is the beguiling story of one woman taking hold of her fate by uncovering the clandestine geography of this divide in her heart. You can receive recipes of the food described in the novel by signing up to a mailing list for free. Details inside the book. You can have this book and eat it too.
In this lighthearted memoir of adventure and self-discovery, Rich Israel takes us on his journey during the tumultuous 1960s. Eschewing societal norms, he hitchhikes across the country, tries his hand at mining, works at a circus, and rides a horse hundreds of miles through the Rocky Mountain wilderness—all the while, the draft and the Vietnam War are nipping at his heels. Written in vivid detail, this coming-of-age story is filled with humor, insight, heartbreak, and triumph, along with unforgettable, quirky characters.
Pomeroy, a towering street musician on parole, is out of the clink for the umpteenth time and wants to become a rock star. With fame and fortune in mind, he heads to Occupy Oakland, hoping to get on television, attract an agent, and score a million dollar contract for Ants in My Pants, his marathon ditty. Pomeroy is a skirmish-loving, dumpster-diving, narcissistic crazy who thinks he can sing like Pavarotti and that all women want to jump his bones. His parole officer, a street-smart Hispanic woman, tells Pomeroy to quit staring at her alligator pumps and get himself a real plan. But Pomeroy has schemes of his own and more wisdom than we'd like to admit. You may find his egocentric opinions politically incorrect. ("There ain't a dyke alive ol' Pomeroy can't turn straight.") You may find yourself laughing when you shouldn't. ("A good strong piss is better 'n sex. Lasts longer too.") But don't blame yourself if you start rooting for this antihero. You'll have lots of company. "Laugh out loud funny yet so insightful, Call Me Pomeroy could easily end up a classic. Read it before everyone else does" - James L. Woolridge, Vine Voice. "It's a fart in the scuba tank of institutional decorum. A bawdy brawling middle finger to the vapidity of modern civilization." - Robert McGuill, author of The Outskirts of Nowhere. "Hanna has created a character in Pomeroy that is destined to work its way into the permanent iconography of contemporary literature. He is everything our id screams and o ...
Crouch End Confidential, the agency started by housewife and mother, Cathy O'Farrell, with ex-cleaner, Pimple, is failing badly. Hardly surprising when Cathy's too soft-hearted to charge their only clients, little old ladies seeking lost pets and a school kid searching for his stolen bike. A new case involving a teenager in possession of an unexplained Glock pistol promises to change all that. Quickly Cathy's deep in waters over her head, forced with hilarious results to pose as a mathematics tutor, a subject of which she's truly clueless. There's also the tricky situation of best friend and new mother Rosa hiring her to investigate her fiancé, Alec, plus the mysterious sabotage of Cathy's friends' cycle shop and a gang of yobbos dealing drugs at her children's primary school. Worst of all, an ill-fated trip to rural Norfolk has Cathy's husband, Declan, intent on buying a post office and transplanting the family to safer climes, threatening to tear Cathy permanently from her beloved North London home. Pretty soon Cathy's risking her friendships, her marriage and even her life untangling all these messes. But that's what you get for meddling in murder...
Bobert McGee is just a regular guy. Anonymous in his job and his life, Bobert's singular obsession is to make a difference in the world. He wants to be noticed. He wants to be famous. He wants to matter. Bobert's desires come true when he stumbles across a time machine for sale on an Internet shopping page. Scrambling all the savings he has, he buys the machine with the intention of changing history and improving the world for all of mankind. In doing so, Bobert will finally become the man he's always wanted to be. Bobert will become the man who saved the lives of millions. Bobert will be the man who changed history. Bobert will be the man who stopped Hitler. But Bobert is a giant wimp, so he'll need to stop Hitler when it's easy for him to do so. Going back in time to when Hitler was a baby should make this whole thing easier, right?
Where Royal history and legend meet mystery. In a superb intermingling of fact and fiction the Paladin and his diverse and fiercely loyal band of adventurers are up against the D.O.R.C. and their evil leader the G.O.O.F. Where what you thought was a good idea at the time turns out to be your worst nightmare. Amidst the turmoil of good versus evil a poignant tale of love and love lost is delicately woven. Solomon Knight will keep you anxiously reading on with twists, turns and scenes so well crafted you'll think your right beside the characters.
Bobbi Jax, AKA BJ, reaches out to flick the cheek on the chick hiding in the bushes. Plastic. But oh so real looking. And creepy enough to interrupt her romp in nature with hot cop, Peter Harris. Creepy enough that BJ and her best friend, Kay decide to retrieve the discarded mannequin from the park that night, tie it to the roof of their car, and drive it back to the bar she manages. Creepy enough that it lights up social media like a beacon calling in the crazies. Who knew curiosity could put her in so much danger? Quinn and Glasneck, high on the beer fumes from a signing party at a local brewery, decided to take a step away from their usual writing styles to put together a new adult (okay, anyone who wants a laugh) mystery in the style of Janet Evanovich’s Stephanie Plum novels – that is if Stephanie had a younger southern cousin, who ran a bar, and had a thing for police uniforms.
Sometimes you have to play dirty. I’m Paige Harper and I clean up supernatural messes. But my personal life is something I can’t seem to straighten out. I accidentally married a fae, and even though we've been divorced for years, Jax still manages to land me in hot water. Like, putting my house on the table at a high stakes poker game type of hot. Now, he's been arrested for murder and the cops want to pin a series of vampire killings on him. I don't know if he did it or not. But I do know he needs to be at that poker game or else my house is gone. In order to get Jax out, I turn to Nico, a one-eyed werewolf private detective, for help. Nico is a handsome, dangerous, ladies man and I have no intention of falling prey to his charms. Although, that's easier said than done as the two of us begin crawling through the dirty underbelly of the supernatural world… It’s a good thing I brought my broom. Grave New World is the first book in an all new paranormal mystery series filled with laughs and romance!
Thomas Gephardt is a world traveller. Or at least he would like to be one. Determined to leave the confines of his sheltered upbringing in the United States, he voyages to France to expand his horizons. He spends three months with a French family in Bordeaux, working in a local hotel. Inspired by these experiences, Thomas has plans to continue travelling. However, a romantic interest in Paris—an Israeli woman named Sendi—complicates matters. He leaves but remains in contact with Sendi while he lives abroad in Japan as an English teacher and then in Israel as a volunteer on a kibbutz. Throughout his explorations, Thomas attempts to probe deeply into his experiences and to ponder big questions: What is the value of foreign travel? What is unique about each of these three cultures? How is each country shaped by its history? On the lighter side, Thomas has a variety of experiences—he is seen as a "quasi-alien" in a French restaurant, he wonders if he can meet expectations as a "talking monkey" in Japan, and he is informed that, unlike in The Big Lebowski, he definitely cannot roll on Shabbos in Israel. Bill Bryson meets J.D. Salinger, The Perfect Culture is full of satirical observations and thoughtful analysis of travel, people, and customs.
Making a sexy deal with the deal-maker... Flying sightseers over California is part of helicopter pilot Lacey Sanders' job. The other part is denying her attraction for hot-bod fellow pilot Adam Swank. A painful experience taught Lacey never to date her co-workers. So regardless of how sizzling the sparks are between her and Adam, she just isn't going there. But when they're teamed up to close a business deal on a private island, Lacey can no longer resist Adam’s steamy kisses. Adam The Deal-Maker has the gift of persuasion. Except when it comes to Lacey. For five years they’ve been dancing around a fiery attraction. Now he has her right where he wants her—in his arms—but can he persuade thrill seeking Lacey to accept his deal and take a chance on an office romance?
Little Lance Pototschnik wanted to grow up and play pro football, but that pipe dream got smoked by his lethargic growth hormones and a terrible skin disorder. The death of his childhood aspirations did, however, plant the seeds for Lance to find comedy in rejection and suffering. In this gaspingly funny collection of stories, Lance’s battle with disease, his overbearing parents, and his maniacal bosses push him toward the startling discovery that the daily grind--which strips the gold off even the best of us--is the very thing that reveals what we are truly made of. This book is for every intellectual slacker whose very soul is straining against the chains of a dead-end job, a disease, or bad culture. Golden Monkey is a hysterical and bittersweet look at the dark moments that define us, and the triumphant aftermath when we get to say, with all our hearts, that we know exactly who the hell we are.
From the best-selling author of "Perhaps I've Said Too Much" and "Romantic as Hell."
Hilariously frank and hysterically wince-inducing, "The Vasectomy Diaries" is one man's true account of undergoing the harrowing procedure known as "the vasectomy." Rodney takes you along on his journey for sterilization, starting with the moment he makes the life-changing decision, to the snip itself, and all the way to the final reveal on whether or not the damn thing took.
Follow his progress in this day-by-day journal as he discusses and describes in full comedic (and graphic) detail such things as:
- The decision to empty the pistol chamber and shoot blanks...
Carnivorous garden gnomes or mutant sewer monsters. Nothing is too weird for intrepid paranormal reporter Aurora North. Especially as she usually finds the logical, and deeply unparanormal, explanation for it all. When her editor asks her to check out an alleged vampire attack, Aurora is absolutely certain it’s nothing but a stunt for the university theatre production of Dracula ... until she discovers a dead body with vampire-fang-like puncture wounds. Whether it’s a genuine vampire attack or a hoax gone "dramatically" wrong, Aurora knows she has a fangtastic exposé on her hands. That's if she can keep her trainee in line, dodge the handsome possible vampire and not get bitten long enough to solve the mystery. And write the story An Aurora North Exposé is a cross between Scooby Doo mysteries and Lois and Clark, only there's a teenage sidekick instead of a talking dog and Aurora North doesn't need a superhero to save her—she can save her own darn self!
Love can be quite a trip. Whether it's that first magnetic encounter with a fascinating stranger, the desperate wait for a call that never comes, or even the lies and deceptions of an illicit affair, there's nothing like the power of attraction to have us acting like crazy fools. Many of these twenty funny, twist or thoughtful short tales by bestselling novelist Ellie Campbell (aka sisters Pam Burks and Lorraine Campbell), were first published internationally in top women's magazines like That's Life, Bella, Take a Break, Woman, Woman's Own and Chat. So grab a glass of wine, fasten your seatbelt and get ready for a bumpy ride along the rocky road to romance. It may be turbulent but it's still a whole lot of fun!
Benjamin Wolf, a highly intelligent and inscrutable man with an intense sense of compassion for the vulnerable and threatened, and an unusual kind of illusionist, is in need of a respite. He sets out on a walking holiday in the Lake District and after a somewhat disconcerting ramble he arrives at Monk's Hall, the home of an old friend, Sebastian Monk, the Earl of Uppington on the Downs, for a weekend retreat. The Earl has invited an eclectic party of contentious individuals including Duchess Cassandra of Camelot; international real estate mogul, Ulysses Upman; and Doctor of Philosophy, Professor I. M. Boring. Chrystal D. Canter, daughter of the matriarch of one of the oldest Cognac producing families in Europe was also invited but mysteriously goes missing. It becomes apparent to Ben that there is an undercurrent of secrets, lies and deception but there is something else, something ethereal and evil in the atmosphere. Ben's foreboding becomes manifest the following morning when the lifeless body of the Earl is discovered.
Reckless Traveler: an autobiographical novel of adventuring in South America, sure to delight anyone with a passport. Perú and beyond: Through the alchemy of travel, youthful folly may bring disaster or wisdom . . . and more. The instructional travel guide for aspiring backpackers: learn how to bribe police, avoid malaria, and find employment abroad -- and what to do (and not to do) when armed mercenaries detain your charter bus. Awaken your inner explorer with Walter Rhein's Reckless Traveler, expat tales from a decade of discovery.
A corpse, a cantankerous camel, an entertaining array of suspects, and a yule tide of problems along the way…it must be a Flo and Agnes Christmas! Who would have guessed Agnes would rub Penelope the cranky camel the wrong way? Or that Flo would find herself ankle deep in camel dung while fending off a masked murderer? Or that TC would, once again, get on the wrong side of her handsome detective in an attempt to help her friends? Why…anybody who’s been to Silver Hills before…that’s who!
Ex-cop-turned-P.I. Maggie Doyle is stuck chaperoning a group of bratty summer camp kids to an archaeological dig on Whisper Island. After a day of fart jokes, fidget spinners, and fist fights, Maggie's regretting volunteering—and then one of her feral charges discovers a skeleton. At first it looks like a cold case, but the situation takes a sinister turn when a member of the excavation team winds up dead. Maggie is determined to get to the bottom of the mystery before more bodies stack up. With her police officer boyfriend on vacation, his nitwitted fellow officer is what passes for law and order on the island. Now if only she can dodge the bumbling Sergeant O’Shea…
Ever since Scharlette’s parents gave her a name no one can really pronounce, she’s been stuck in a bit of a rut. She hates her job in airport security, making people take their belts off before they fly to exotic locations she can only dream about. She owns a small apartment with large repayments, drinks bargain bin red while she watches Star Trek, and misses her little sister, lost to an exploding sandwich press ten years ago. Scharlette fears she might live out her entire existence without doing anything or mattering to anyone. It still comes as quite a surprise when a handsome time traveller named Tomothy appears out of nowhere and verifies she is correct – that, according to his records, she doesn’t matter at all. Scharlette isn’t sure this news is as wonderful as Tomothy seems to think but, as he explains, since her life was to have no impact on the timeline whatsoever, Scharlette is free to travel time and space, and have amazing adventures with heedless abandon. “The book is charming and riotously funny. The most enjoyable aspect of the story is its unpredictability.” – Aurealis Magazine “It’s hard to describe why this book is good without spoiling a single part of it.” – Two Doctors Media Collaborative
In Fairyland 200 years after the 'happy ending' Cinderella is plotting to divorce Charming. The other royal families aren't happy either. Sleeping Beauty is making up for all that lost time by producing 28 children her husband can't afford. Snow White, the perfect lady is married to a king who beds every wench in the kingdom. The Grand Annual Ball is approaching to marry off the next generation, but there is a scarcity of princes. Into all this chaos arrives the Green Giant sent by the Red Party to ferment revolution among the happy peasants. The stage is set for disaster.
A despicable stock trader is found buried under an avalanche of his own garden rocks, causing fired-from-the force- Richard Sherlock to be yanked off the bowling alley and whisked to the crime scene by his pampered protegee Tiffany Richmond. He must prove murder and stop payment of the twelve-million-dollar Richmond Insurance policy. Nothing makes sense. Crime scene is a mess. There is no money trail. There are too many motives from too many suspects who have too many alibis. Worst of all Sherlock's bad back is acting up, his ex-wife wants more money and the murder investigation is putting a serious dent in his parenting schedule of his two daughters. Richard Sherlock hates his job, and may be a reluctant dick, but he is better at finding the WHO in WHODUNIT than anyone else.
Bored stay at home mother, Cathy, finds her predictable routine upturned as she investigates a lipstick-covered love postcard sent to husband, Declan. Who is this mysterious La La? Could Declan really be having an affair? And - wait - is Cathy actually being stalked? With all her friends hiding secrets, a sexy admirer igniting long-forgotten sparks, and the stress of organizing the school's Save The Toilets dance, soon it's not only Cathy's marriage that's in jeopardy. Add in the scheming antics of Declan's new assistant and a possible murderer on the scene and the stage is set for a dangerous showdown and some very unsettling, even deadly, revelations.
"Never have disgusting, miserable living conditions been so funny. When someone finally finds a way to send back a report from hell, I hope it will be Lance Pototschnik. Except this guy is going to heaven, for the way he writes." --The Kindle Book Review “Welcome to beautiful Costa Rica! Come and experience our diverse wildlife. Exhume nests of dead baby turtles and stay up all night while mosquitoes elicit blood from your very soul! Indulge in the local cuisine. Eat rice and beans until the malnutrition engenders hallucinations! Travel west to Guanacaste, to the peninsula that pokes into the Pacific like a fang. Visit the remote, cocoa-dust beaches where rare sea turtles crawl from the seething ocean to nest. Here, masochists will enjoy camping beside the water to leave civilization and all its conveniences behind. Burn bucketfuls of used toilet paper, shiver in an infested bed, and wade crocodile-filled rivers...every single day!” Lance Pototschnik and his friends must have booked their trip with that agency. Their incredibly affordable “vacation” was meant to be a relaxing time to meditate on the direction of their languid, aimless lives. Instead, they are introduced to hell and the insane diversity of its tortures. Marooned on a remote sea turtle conservancy with a handful of fellow unanchored souls, Pototschnik, in his hilarious debut memoir, ponders who he essentially is, and what he is likely to become. In Pototschnik, those who have fallen prey to the desolation of br ...
Interior Decorator Madison Night might look like a throwback to the sixties, but as business owner and landlord, she proves that independent women can have it all. But when a killer targets women dressed in her signature style—estate sale vintage to play up her resemblance to fave actress Doris Day—what makes her unique might make her dead. The local detective connects the new crime to a twenty-year old cold case, and Madison's long-trusted contractor emerges as the leading suspect. As the body count piles up, Madison uncovers a Soviet spy, a campaign to destroy all Doris Day movies, and six minutes of film that will change her life forever.
#2 in the Dead Red mystery series What if your beating heart is the reason someone wants you dead? Like Janet Evanovich? Sue Grafton? You’ll love this humorous mystery series! When a troubled, homeless veteran covers her vintage Cadillac with paper snowflakes, Lalla Bains decides a showdown is needed. Unfortunately, she arrives too late for that conversation---he’s lying in a pool of blood, stabbed with his own scissors. But someone is watching, and now a killer has targeted her for murder.
#3 in THE DEAD RED MYSTERY SERIES "Janet Evanovich meets aero-ag pilots." The Kindle Book Review What if quitting your boring job put you in line for murder? Her beloved great aunt wants to bar-b-que dad's side-kick, Bruce the goat, and her man-hungry cousin has her sights set on her number one pilot. What else could possibly go wrong? Oh yeah, her new pilot is really a CPA hiding from a vicious Las Vegas hitman.
Bill Rodgers makes us laugh until our sides hurt in this hilarious look at current events - today and yesterday. “Bill has been making me laugh for over twenty years!” - Jay Leno “Will tickle your funny bone. Damned clever!” - Jesse Sublett, Author, Musician, Austin Character “Bill knows where the funny is.” - Shannon Sedwick, Esther’s Follies
Orgasms, Chocolate & Zombies?
Just an average day for Jonah, Judas & JJ.
The Zee Brothers have a strange and dangerous vocation. While some hunt rodents or pests in the dark, Jonah and Judas tackle much larger prey… Zombies. Equipped with a well-loved artillery gun, DeeDee, and a much used and somewhat abused pickup truck called Sasha, the duo clear the night of undead pests, keeping the ever-present threat of a Zombie Apocalypse at bay.
When the slap happy pair receives an after hours call for extermination that ends in a gurgle, they head out, guns locked and catch pole loaded. It seems that an incredibly foolish developer built a high cost, gated community atop an old indian Reservation – a Reservation that soon became a graveyard and home to magic much older than the flimsy walled homes that tried to take over. Lost in this sea of new houses, an ancient artifact lay buried till the obnoxious Home Owners Association President disturbed it – and awakened the Zombies from their slumber to retrieve it. Now it’s up to the Brothers to find it and lay the walking dead to rest. Along the way they meet the woman of their dreams, JJ, her magical and disco imbued dog, Xanadu, a denture wearing Zombie and a High Priest that offers a bit more danger than DeeDee can handle. Filled with pop culture
Lost in this sea of new houses, an ancient artifact lay buried till the obnoxious Home Owners Association President disturbed it – and awakened the ...
Organized accountant Zoey Allen likes her life neat and tidy. But it goes from managed to messy when a dead body ends up in her apartment on an ordinary Tuesday night. After uncovering a money-laundering scheme in a routine audit at her company, Zoey finds herself the target in a murderous plot that doesn't quite add up. Good thing she has Mac--a handsome police officer--and the Page Turners book club to help her solve the case. Officer 'Mac' McCarthy came back to Pleasant Valley to get away from murder and corruption. The last thing he needs is to be tied up in a case of attempted murder with the beautiful blonde bookkeeper that he can't get out of his mind. She's looking for him to protect her, and that's the one thing he doesn't think he can do. Mac and Zoey find themselves in a dangerous adventure full of lies, betrayal, and murder that takes them from the underbelly of the legalized marijuana business to a secluded cabin in the mountains. As she finds herself falling in love, is she really falling into a trap? Is Mac the man she thinks he is? Zoey must learn to let go of her ordered life and risk it all because murder can be a crime of passion, and falling in love is about to get messy. The Page Turners prevail in this newest mystery with their amateur sleuthing and undercover missions and...as always...delicious desserts.
Enjoy laugh out loud stories about your work and family life when you escape into the comedy adventure world of Fun Stories. Three Fun Stories books have topped the Amazon Humor chart. This compilation contains stories from all five Fun Stories books, including several stories that have topped the iTunes Comedy Songs chart in their audio versions. No topic is off limits. You'll be saying, "I can relate!" when you add this heartwarming humor into your day!
Ever wonder what Elvis would tweet? Or what exactly is in a Grateful Dead cocktail? Does ZZ Top use their beards for good or evil? Does Ozzy Osbourne have bat breath? And what ever happened to Maroon 4? Discover things you never knew about your favorite rock stars in this fun look at Rock & Roll.
In this second edition in his History Retweets Itself series, comedy writer Bill Rodgers offers up interesting facts about some of Rock & Roll's greatest stars viewed through the lens of social media. Take this fun trip through Rock & Roll and enjoy the laughs along the way!
When TJ, a fat neckbeard small time youtuber living with his mom met a strange girl in his one note town, he thought his luck was changing. What he didn’t know, on her heels, a deepweb gameshow bent on bringing his hick mountain town to its knees, just for sport.
Unleashing flesh hungry zombies, feral survivors and monstrous abortions of science onto his once peaceful town. TJ is forced to embrace his own fantasy and play a sick game for a hungry internet audience, get the girl, kill the bad guys and save what remains of his burning town or failing that just himself, his mother and his collection anime figures.
John Dot, mid-life, depressive, whose body has seen better days is whisking his long-suffering girlfriend, Olivia, away to …….. Margate for a romantic weekend. For him, Margate will make or break his re-kindled relationship with Olivia. Will John’s efforts to wine and dine Olivia get the desired results? Will their relationship survive a romantic weekend in Margate? If you love laugh out loud, dark comedy with heart and soul then you’ll love Kevin Kelly’s incredibly funny and intimate take on a mid-life man’s misadventures as he makes his way through life, relationships and travels.
Author, illustrator and humanist thinker Jeff Stilwell follows up his seminal work Here and Now: A Whimsical Take on God with this collection of illustrations about how to live the good life. Whether for a daily chuckle, or used as meditation pieces, Stilwell's fans agree that his comics act as visual parables. Viewers are able to explore their own lives more deeply when encountering his thoughts. Readers say: “Stilwell's charming illustrations are cute and adorable on the surface. But take a moment to meditate on the deeper meaning and you might find yourself driving down a heretofore unvisited road in your mind, leading you to greater self-awareness. That's the beauty of these little gems.”
A boy-band heart throb. A violent kidnap. A female cop’s daring rescue. A spark to fire the passion of love.
When Sergeant Sophia Castellana stumbles into an international terrorist attack, things are not as they seem. Global forces beyond her grasp sweep her up into an audacious scheme to re-unite a world in chaos Superstar Charles Gonin wants his rescuer Sophia by his side, as his bodyguard… and more!
He has a valuable secret that makes him a target for those in control. Power and celebrity beckon. Betrayal and violence threaten every move as events unfold in the city of Paris. The adoration of this far younger man and the infatuation of a charismatic French woman seduce her into a blur of inappropriate love and infinite danger. Her brute courage and loving woman's heart confront ruthless enemies who offer no second chances.
She knows the streets, she knows her power as a lover but can a cougar relationship ever work? Can she, dare she seize the prizes before her? Will a world offer her the choice?
“Steamy Emma Calin holds nothing back to bring you her juicy mix of cops, crime, and passion, with a large side-order of French satire sauce.”
Seduction of Crowns, another stand-alone Seduction Series suspense romance novel. If you enjoy James Patterson, Catherine Coulter, Nora Roberts, Kendra Elliot and Allessandro Torre you'll love a series that combines all of their best traits in fast-paced, pulse ...
Another outrageous full-length comedy satire novel from Oscar Sparrow.
Oscar Sparrow is a sewage trucker and poet. This is his true story. Pursued by a literary stalker, crippled by lack of dietary fibre, sometimes naked and soaked in foul waste he never loses sight of his vision. Even from his police cell he sees only the blue sky. Driven on by his reckless love of women he becomes a best-selling female romantic novelist. If you’ve ever despaired, fallen in love, or sat on a toilet, this book will change your perception of reality. Through failure, rejection and self-doubt a man fights his way off the bottom. A love story conceived over an open manhole and delivered by Elvis. An inspirational account of our common struggles. Take his grubby hand and for the rest of your life a comrade walks with you through every set-back and brings you through as a winner. The self-help book the bosses don’t want you to read.
‘My Life in Ladies’ Knickers’ is as British as a Friday night kebab and a pub fight. O ...
Weekends are hell.
If you do them right.
That's the subtext of the columns scrawled by Wiley from various states of semi-consciousness as he slinks out of the woodwork and insinuates himself into the soft underbelly of Southern California consciousness. Wilier than a coyote, badder than Santa, Gonzo'er than Dr. Duke, the Wilester lays waste to everybody in range, not least himself.
There are two tributaries to the flow of "The Way of the Weekend Warrior": a normal (more of less) plot of a demented outsider snarfing up the media scene, and the content of the columns he writes and broadcasts as his weapon against normality and status quo. Taken from the syndicated cult column of the nineties, these passages snidely sneer, raucously rant, surrealistically swoop, and otherwise amaze and amuse. If you can get get through a chapter without laughing out loud, you get your money back. Well, not really, but you at least have our sympathy and scorn. Wiley is not for the meek and weak... he is THE WEEKEND WARRIOR. Read him if you dare.
High school senior Santana Harris' parents want her to go to college, to prepare for her future, or---at the very least---to get a job so that she can figure out what life after high school will look like. Santana doesn't want any of that. Convinced that her art will allow her to win a scholarship to a prestigious school, she’s content to coast through her final year. Her parents give her an ultimatum: if she doesn’t win the scholarship, she'll have to find a part-time job. Then Santana and her friend spot a cat in a tree. After she saves it, a strange boy shows up to offer her a job. The kind of job that would allow her to work after school and set her own hours. The only catch? Her new boss thinks he’s a superhero, and he wants Santana to be his new sidekick.
This faceless corporate worker bee has had enough...and there's murder on her mind... After years of climbing the corporate ladder to achieve her ultimate goal---elite C-suite status---Adrian Banner has finally made it to the top of the morally corrupt mega-corporation she works for. Or so she thinks. Promised heir apparent to her C-Suite manager, Adrian is poised to make the final leap when her manager dies unexpectedly in a bizarre accident. When Adrian learns that shes not next up in the succession plan, she takes matters into her own hands, beginning a series of comical murders of well-deserved, odious victims who stand in the way of her ultimate goal. Death by Corporate America is a darkly comedic look at the seedy underworkings of a corporate world and one woman whos trapped within it.
A lifeless hand rises ghost-like from a car mechanic's pit. Who does it belong to? And what happened? Annabelle and DI Nicholls set out to solve the murder, but find themselves wrapped up in not one, but three different mysteries. A puppy helps, too.
#6 in the Dead Red Mystery series Like Janet Evanovich? Sue Grafton? You’ll love this humorous mystery series! What if building a case against corruption gets you killed? On track to a successful political career, a charismatic young judge’s detour into corruption will uncover the scandalous truth of his father’s murder…and ultimately his own. Now it will be up to P.I. Lalla Bains to scour through a family’s painful secrets to find a killer.
Hollywood actress Hope Hadley doesn't think that things can get any worse for her. In the last twenty-four hours, her boyfriend has broken up with her and her long-running police procedural TV show has been canceled.
When a homicide detective shows up at her door the next morning with news that her ex-boyfriend has been murdered, she realizes that her troubles are just beginning. She is shocked--not only to learn of her ex's death, but also to find out that the police consider her to be a suspect in the killing.
Hope soon realizes that the only way to clear her name is by finding the real killer herself.
He's running from his past, she's hoping he'll save her future ~~~ Marooned in Baja, Mexico, a Chechen arms dealer is waiting for the right diver to retrieve the deadly cargo on the bottom of the Sea of Cortez. But when the Queen of daytime drama, Leila Hunter Standiford, happens to admire a beautiful vintage Alden and its handsome captain, she doesn't realize that the boat will soon burn to the water line, or that a dead body will be found below, or that the captain has been targeted as a sacrificial diver.
#10days #findthewoman #getthejob #doNOTfallinlove "Child star and hilarious hot mess Maizie Albright trades Hollywood for the backwoods of Georgia and pure delight ensues. Maizie’s my new favorite escape from reality.” — Gretchen Archer, USA Today bestselling author of the Davis Way Crime Caper series #WannaBeDetective When ex-teen star Maizie Albright returns to her Southern hometown of Black Pine, Georgia, she hoped to rid herself of Hollywood tabloid and reality show hell for a new career as a private investigator. Instead, Hollyweird follows her home. Maizie’s costar crushing, but now for her gumshoe boss. Her stage-monster mother still demands screen time. Her latest rival wants her kicked off the set, preferably back to a California prison. By entangling herself in a missing person's case, she must reprise her most famous role. The job will demand a performance of a lifetime. But this time, the stakes are real and may prove deadly. “Hollywood glitz meets backwoods grit in this fast-paced ride on D-list celeb Maizie Albright's waning star—even as it's reborn in a spectacular collision with her nightmarish stage mother, her deer-pee-scented-apparel-inventing daddy...and a murderer. Sassy, sexy, and fun, 15 Minutes is hours of enjoyment—and a wonderful start to a fun new series from the charmingly Southern-fried Reinhart.” — Phoebe Fox, author of The Breakup Doctor series “Maizie Albright is the kind of fresh, fun, and feisty ‘star detective’ I love spending time with, a k ...
Fate and idiocy has brought Johnny to Maui. In the final book of the first Johnny Trilogy, Johnny in Maui, working for an international crime organization against his will. Johnny is finally valuable because of his natural born ability to drive. He will have to drive anything and everything in order to save the world. It's too bad for us that he is a complete moron.