The Vasectomy Diaries

From the best-selling author of "Perhaps I've Said Too Much" and "Romantic as Hell."

Some Like It Shot

“Danger was part of my job description, but none of my contingency plans anticipated an attack by a Maine Coon.” It’s summer on Whisper Island. Ex-cop-turned-private-investigator Maggie Doyle is looking forward to sun, fun, and romance. Instead, she gets bills, an assault allegation, and a busted wr ...

RESCUED BY A KISS

March lst is Mardi Gras in New Orleans....and free today, is RESCUED BY A KISS. All the fun of Mardi Gras—without the hangover! A Mardi Gras kiss launches a manhunt to find a victim shot with the help of some quirky characters in a city that knows how to have a good time. One kiss and her world turn ...

When TJ, a fat neckbeard small time youtuber living with his mom met a strange girl in his one note town, he thought his luck was changing. What he didn’t know, on her heels, a deepweb gameshow bent on bringing his hick mountain town to its knees, just for sport.

Unleashing flesh hungry z ...

Hexed in Texas: A Humorous Fantasy

Johnny Vegas

With $120 dollars in his pocket and his life back on track, Johnny heads out to the one place in the world where absolutely nothing can go wrong: Las Vegas. It isn't long before the good-hearted Johnny is involved with the city's most dangerous criminals. The clock is running and the race is on. Joh ...

Things Go Wrong for Me

FINALIST - 2013 Next Generation Indie Book Awards (Humor/Humour) FINALIST - 2013 National Indie Excellence Book Awards (Humor/Humour) Think you've got it bad? You ain't seen nothing yet. Murphy's Law, meet Rodney's Law. If it can go wrong, it has already happened to Rodney Lacroix in the worst, most ...

History Retweets Itself: Texas Edition

Bill Rodgers makes us laugh until our sides hurt in this hilarious look at current events - today and yesterday. “Bill has been making me laugh for over twenty years!” - Jay Leno “Will tickle your funny bone. Damned clever!” - Jesse Sublett, Author, Musician, Austin Character ...

Investigative journalists Mittens Meow and Alex Digger race to the rescue when Alex’s favorite baker discovers a shocking theft, threatening the future of her business. Can they uncover the culprit in time? A Christian mystery chapter book for readers 7-12.

Cheese Tarts and Fluffy Socks: Complex, Enthralling Romance Novel Proves Sex & Work is a Cocktail Best Left Unshaken The most recent in a long line of celebrated romance novels from Nikki Ashton, ‘Cheese Tarts and Fluffy Socks’ zeroes in on a steamy one-night stand that, unknown to e ...

Grave in the Garage

A lifeless hand rises ghost-like from a car mechanic's pit. Who does it belong to? And what happened? Annabelle and DI Nicholls set out to solve the murder, but find themselves wrapped up in not one, but three different mysteries. A puppy helps, too.

Fore Play

"A company of spineless, scheming men try to gouge a California country club for every penny it's worth in Sheehan's seamy, steamy comedy of errors." -Kirkus Reviews

"Good book, great read! Laughs, sex, golf, and good wine. What more could you want?" -Danny Jacobson, Creator and Executive ...

A Scaly Tail of Murder

Frankie Chandler is finally at peace with her life. She’s engaged to Detective Martin Bowers, her pet psychic business is booming, and she’s overcome the emotional residue of a past relationship that destroyed her self-respect. Just when everything’s going swell, trouble strolls through her front ...

Didn't Get Frazzled

A provocative and humorous novel about four years in the life of an intrepid young medical student, set in the grueling world of an elite NYC medical school. “…the best fictional portrayal of med school since ER.” – BlueInk Review, starred review 2017 International Book Awards Bronze Medal Winner ...

A DEAD RED CADILLAC

#1 in THE DEAD RED MYSTERY SERIES Like Janet Evanovich? Sue Grafton? You’ll love this humorous mystery series! Deeply buried and deadly secrets resurface with a drowned Cadillac Her trophy red Caddy has been hijacked and now police ask how an elderly woman, who couldn’t possibly see beyond the hood ...

Almost Heroes

High school senior Santana Harris' parents want her to go to college, to prepare for her future, or---at the very least---to get a job so that she can figure out what life after high school will look like. Santana doesn't want any of that. Convinced that her art will allow her to win a scholarship t ...

Death by Windmill: A Mother’s Day Murder in Amsterdam

A Mother’s Day trip to the Netherlands turns deadly when a guest plummets from a windmill. Was it an accident or a murder? For Lana Hansen, the answer will mean freedom or imprisonment for someone close to her… Wanderlust Tours guide Lana Hansen and her mother, Gillian, haven’t seen eye to eye in ov ...

The 39 Cupcakes

Ex-cop-turned-P.I. Maggie Doyle is stuck chaperoning a group of bratty summer camp kids to an archaeological dig on Whisper Island. After a day of fart jokes, fidget spinners, and fist fights, Maggie's regretting volunteering—and then one of her feral charges discovers a skeleton. At first it looks ...

The Big Easy has plenty of song… …a lot of dancing and a bit of murder. Will Brandy be able to prove her friend is innocent? Brandy learned to be loyal in Catholic school. She doesn’t judge. When her best friend, Julia, an ex-stripper turned hotelier, finds the first guest of her new Bed and ...

Anyone But the Boss

What happens when a grumpy billionaire, a perpetually friendly marketing exec and a hairless cat with a catnip addiction spend a night in Vegas... (A black-eye for starters.) Thomas Moore, heir to the glamorous New York department store Moore’s, has everything. Everything but a sense of humor. Proba ...

A DEAD RED OLEANDER

#3 in THE DEAD RED MYSTERY SERIES "Janet Evanovich meets aero-ag pilots." The Kindle Book Review What if quitting your boring job put you in line for murder? Her beloved great aunt wants to bar-b-que dad's side-kick, Bruce the goat, and her man-hungry cousin has her sights set on her number one pilo ...

What the Cluck? It's Murder

Pet psychic Frankie Chandler finally (and reluctantly) agrees to meet Detective Martin Bower’s family. All she has to do is impress the pack of sisters who raised him. Not difficult, right? The only thing at stake is her relationship with the man she loves. The weekend at his eldest sibling’s fa ...

Johnny Real Estate

Trouble has a way of finding Johnny Tee. That's why after years of consorting with organized crime types, he is set on finding a legitimate job and making a go of it as a functional member of society. He will fail miserably. As a new trilogy begins, Johnny is off to join the world of real estate. ...

Aerobics Can Be Deadly (Bucket List Mysteries 1)

When this odd couple signs up to be extras in a fitness video, it’s lights, camera… murder. Sho Tanaka is desperate for normalcy. Uncomfortably getting by in a tiny Texas town after prescription drugs cost him his job, the last thing the disgraced nurse needs is a former tween TV star roping him int ...

Johnny 12 Steps

The first book in the series introduces us to Johnny Tee, a wandering vagabond with a troubled past and an even bleaker future. A fighter, gambler, and liar Johnny Tee has lived a life that has been one misstep after another. He makes a decision to go the straight and narrow that is going to be hard ...

Groovin': Horses, Hopes, and Slippery Slopes

In this lighthearted memoir of adventure and self-discovery, Rich Israel takes us on his journey during the tumultuous 1960s. Eschewing societal norms, he hitchhikes across the country, tries his hand at mining, works at a circus, and rides a horse hundreds of miles through the Rocky Mountain wilder ...

Christmas Grift

A corpse, a cantankerous camel, an entertaining array of suspects, and a yule tide of problems along the way…it must be a Flo and Agnes Christmas! Who would have guessed Agnes would rub Penelope the cranky camel the wrong way? Or that Flo would find herself ankle deep in camel dung while fending off ...

Southlea Bay (3 Book Series)

From Book 1:Librarian Janet Johnson is puzzled when she is invitedand practically draggedto her first meeting of the Rejected Writers Book Club. This quirky group of women would much rather celebrate one anothers rejected manuscripts over cups of tea and slices of lemon cake than actually publish a ...

Dead Man's Trench

DISCOVER THIS SIZZLING SERIES OF COZY MYSTERIES SET IN THE SWEEPING LANDSCAPE OF NORFOLK. A man lies dead, deep in an excavation trench, an angry villager's signature on a damming piece of evidence, and a race against time to discover the truth. When the corpse of a hated local man is discovered, sm ...

Vincible

Breakups are hard, but getting dumped is easy.

What do you do when you wake up to find a video of your drunken meltdown blowing up on Reddit?
Or social is filled with your ex-girlfriend living the party life now that she’s finally dumped you?

Ja ...

Mommy Tried to Kill Me

The true story of the four months I spent in Paris, France taking care of my Mom and trying not to have a nervous breakdown, mainly because I didn't know the French word for it.

Space Junk: Houston, We Have a Hottie

NASA engineer Dr. Jackie Darling Lee is a genius about many things... the male species is not one of them (despite the many cowboy romances she reads). Then a little friendly blackmail from a co-worker has Jackie walking into a Texas saloon ready to initiate Operation Social Life. After making fr ...

Point Blank: A Short Tale of Macabre Family Faults

If you can't stand the pressure... ask your mother to stop pointing the gun at your head. Steven is a writer, by all accounts of self-proclamation. But no artist can be expected to work under serious pressure, especially not when the pressure consists of his own mother indenting his tender skull wit ...

A DANGEROUS HARBOR

A lovely American detective's idyllic sail to Mexico ends when she comes face to face with her unfortunate past. But what is unfortunate for Detective Katy Hunter is just the ticket a handsome Latin investigator needs to solve a murder involving a rich, and cartel connected, American yachtsman. The ...

Golden Monkey

Little Lance Pototschnik wanted to grow up and play pro football, but that pipe dream got smoked by his lethargic growth hormones and a terrible skin disorder. The death of his childhood aspirations did, however, plant the seeds for Lance to find comedy in rejection and suffering. In this gaspingly ...

Revenge is a Dish Best Served With Eggnog: A Cozy Paranormal Mystery

In the quaint, twinkling town of Christmas Hills, Destiny Mellowes is just about finished with wrapping the last present of the day. When a charming stranger named Carson walks into the modest gift shop owned by her parents and asks for directions to the nearby resort, Destiny has no idea her hol ...

The Cover Up

What links a webcam girl, a cross-dressing police chief and an escaped ferret? A British nation torn by Brexit staggers on. Frankie Ferret, a pre-school children’s TV celebrity escapes into sewers of London and surely is dead. The people unite in grief. Police Chiefs, counselors and politicos stand ...

Tangled Up In Tuesday: A Page Turners Novel

Organized accountant Zoey Allen likes her life neat and tidy. But it goes from managed to messy when a dead body ends up in her apartment on an ordinary Tuesday night. After uncovering a money-laundering scheme in a routine audit at her company, Zoey finds herself the target in a murderous plot that ...

First Friday: How virginity almost killed me

This tale of Agnes Anne O’Neil, a 28 year-old virgin who struggles to leave home, will both captivate and tickle your funny bone. You’ll meet her wacky Irish Catholic family, her favorite saints and pet snail, and the evil that pursues her. You’ll chuckle when she introduces her Je ...

A DEAD RED ALIBI

When Lalla and her dad take a trip to Arizona to inspect her new property, Dad disappears. Panicked that he's lost in the desert, Lalla enlists the help of a local tracker and finds him unharmed at the bottom of a mine pit. But dad has company. A very dead local police chief. And within a stone's t ...

Jagdlied: a Chamber Novel for Narrator, Musicians, Pantomimists, Dancers & Culinary Artists

WARNING to prospective readers as to this title’s potentially shocking and disturbing (read: X-RATED!!!) graphic and literary content: A reviewer at LITERARY TITAN, tho ...

Diners, Dives and Dead Ends

As a struggling waitress and part-time college student, Rose Strickland’s life is stalled in the slow lane. But when her close friend, Axton, disappears, Rose suddenly finds herself serving up more than hot coffee and flapjacks. Now she’s hashing it out with sexy bad guys and scrambling ...

Christmas Pawsibilities

Former playboy Ryan Madison has wanted no one else since he met elfenchaun, Dori. He has waited many long months for her to be certain she could love a mere human and his quirky family. Now, as they are planning their Christmas wedding, a box of broken childhood memories arrives, as well as a space ...

Death By Baguette: A Valentine’s Day Murder in Paris

Paris – the city of love, lights… and murder? Join tour guide Lana Hansen as she escorts five couples on an unforgettable Valentine-themed vacation to France! Unfortunately it will be the last trip for one passenger… Lana Hansen’s future is looking bright. She has money in her bank account, a babysi ...

Just Add Water (Hetta Coffey Series, Book 1)

HETTA COFFEY IS A SASSY TEXAN WITH A SNAZZY YACHT, AND SHE'S NOT AFRAID TO USE IT! Just Add Water, winner of the National EPPIE Award for BEST MYSTERY. Hetta Coffey is a globe-trotting civil engineer with a swath of failed multi-national affairs in her jet stream. Plying the San Francisco waterfront ...

Calvin Quinn is a long way from the corn fields of Nebraska. The rookie canine journalist is eager to start a new life in the metropolitan city of Bowwow. He dreams of busting bad guys with front page headlines alongside Bowwow's famous investigative journalist team, Mittens Meow and Alex Digger. Bu ...

Cute

For fans of Black Mirror, Dave Eggers and Ben Elton comes a biting satire on out-of-control technology, politicians, admen and dreamers.

One big problem > One brilliant solution = One whole heap of trouble >

As artif ...

St. Batzy & the Time Machine

After all the years they had been married, Maddie Ainsworth's presence still had the ability to discombobulate Horace. She was as tall as his own six feet--the reason they saw eye-to-eye on most things, they joked. To Horace, she was more beautiful than when they met thirty-some years ago. Maddie lo ...

Careful-ish

Ready to laugh with six new friends who'll make you feel better about your own choices? The Joy (yes, that’s what she calls herself) is the crazy glue that’s holding this group of reprobates together. When lockdown hits, she insists on maintaining their weekly happy hour. She also insists that getti ...

"OMG, if ever a book deserved more than 5 stars it’s this cracker. Outstanding, laugh out loud, panty melting goodness all wrapped up in one heartfelt package!"

"Romans having sex again is an hilarious romance of the best kind , witty, sharp and unexpectedly ...

Rocky Mountain Star

Did someone say dance like no one is watching? Guess that’s the only way Tyler CAN dance now. Slip into the pages of the fun and feisty second book in the Rocky Mountain Romances series. Tyler Carter has everything she dreams of—she’s the starring ballerina in a Cirque-du-Soleil type show, a splashy ...

The Spy Who Kissed Me

This suburbanite is about to meet a dashing spy… Isabel “Stan” Stanley is stuck in a rut in the DC suburbs. As a wannabe romance writer, she hopes a sexy muse falls into her lap. But she never expected a handsome spy to dive through her sunroof… Pursued by a hail of bullets, international CIA ...

Space Cowgirl: Houston, All Systems Go

NASA astronaut Julie Starr knows nothing is earned without blood, sweat, and frizzy hair. Recently returned from orbit, Jules is on her way to becoming the youngest Flight Commander ever. So she isn't about to let a creepy stalker derail her goals. Or a chivalrous, wealthy rancher either, for that m ...

Barking Mad at Murder

Frankie Chandler is a charlatan. Though she promotes herself as a pet psychic, her profound revelations come from animal behavior books and her ability to interpret the owner’s body language. Then an appointment with a new client goes horribly wrong and leaves her with images of a woman’s murder. Im ...

Amusing Musings

Warning: This book may be a choking hazard if read while eating or drinking. If you’re a fan of Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey, then you’re going to love Amusing Musings. Get ready to enjoy the most hilarious book of the year. This hysterical compilation of profound thoughts and hilarious one liners w ...

Rise of a Rebel

A life for a life. That’s the deal I made with my father to save my best friend from the poisonous magic about to kill him.


With Davian Grymes brought to justice, I thought the memory-warping torture caused by Bliss would finally end. Unlucky for me, this disturbing nightma ...

The Swines: Anecdotes Of A Piggly Family

“Eclectic, eccentric, and original. Fast-paced. Absurd. Whimsical.” ─ Suidae Gazette
“Cheeky, original, and witty. Wickedly fun!” ─ Bacon Daily News
“Politically incorrect. Genius!” ─ Young Hogs


Whimsical and light-hearted, The Swines is the curious ...

Decanted

"...a page turning, international, sensually romantic, rags to riches, grape to wine saga." –A Woman's Write From author Linda Sheehan, who's part of a Napa wine family, comes a story of grapes, wine, first crushes, and juicy redemption. Dreading the desk job that awaits her after high school, eight ...

My Life in Ladies' Knickers

Another outrageous full-length comedy satire novel from Oscar Sparrow. 

#WannabeDetective, A Maizie Albright Star Detective Omnibus (books 1-3)

"PART ROMCOM, PART MURDER MYSTERY, THEY ARE THE PERFECT WEEKEND READ."

Find out why romantic comedy mystery fans love the light and funny Maizie Albright Star Detective series. “In a nutshell, it’s pure escapism.” Included in the first omnibus from a Wall Street Journal bestselli ...

Thirteen Magic Pumpkin Seeds

Finn Dagdaman's six-year-old life was saved with experimental robotic body parts, making him feel even more of an awkward misfit. When the military rediscovers his bionic abilities as an adult and offers to make him a fully bionic super-soldier, part of Finn yearns to be a hero like his brother. ...

Johnny Zookeeper

Johnny continues his quest to find a spot in the working world and thinks he has finally found the solution: clientele who are in cages and verbally refuse his service. But when Johnny is given more responsibility than he should have, the animals, the customers, and the entire city are in for trou ...

The Shell of a Person

"Never have disgusting, miserable living conditions been so funny. When someone finally finds a way to send back a report from hell, I hope it will be Lance Pototschnik. Except this guy is going to heaven, for the way he writes." --The Kindle Book Review “Welcome to beautiful Costa Rica! Come and ex ...

Rocky Mountain Diner (Free Novella)

After losing their father and learning local mob boss Caruso wants to collect on their dad’s old gambling debts, Dahlia and Minerva hightail it out of Chicago on a hilarious and sometimes scary journey west. Accompany them on their adventure and be right beside them as they unexpectedly find new fri ...

An Almost Purrfect Murder

When Frankie Chandler boards an Alaskan cruise ship, she’s hardly a cheerful advertisement for sailing the ocean blue. Her best (and only) friend is getting married, which means the end of impromptu girl’s nights. Her only consolation is the all-night buffet, but even that can’t make up for the body ...

A Dead Tomato Plant and a Paycheck

What on earth do a dead tomato plant and a paycheck have in common? Maryann Miller explores the fun and foibles of how to survive parenting a large family, while vainly keeping body and mind intact. From School Daze to Summertime Blues, and everything in between, the book airs the Miller laundry wit ...

Sick to Death

Knowing you're dying can be murder. When Gage Adder finds out he has inoperable pancreatic cancer, things really start to look up for him. He leaves his soul-crushing job, joins a nice terminal illness support group, and takes up an exciting new hobby: Serial killing.

Step Inside and See What Happens

What if the only way to escape your troubled life was through a secret portal?

In “J.J. Fowler,” a middle school outcast stumbles upon a door hidden in the blackberry bushes. On the other side is a room that shouldn’t exist—one that shifts and reshapes each time he e ...

Reckless Traveler

Reckless Traveler: an autobiographical novel of adventuring in South America, sure to delight anyone with a passport. Perú and beyond: Through the alchemy of travel, youthful folly may bring disaster or wisdom . . . and more. The instructional travel guide for aspiring backpackers: learn how ...

Johnny Books: The Complete Organized Crime Trilogy

Johnny Books 1-3 make up The Organized Crime Trilogy. Johnny Tee is a wandering vagabond with a troubled past and an even bleaker future. His decision to go the straight and narrow goes haywire when he gets mixed up in the city's dirty underbelly. Coming out on top is going to be tougher than he thi ...

The Finger Trap

Tony Flaner is a malingering part-time comedian, full-time sarcastic, who’s never had it hard, and never finished a thing in his life. He’s had twelve years to prepare for his divorce and didn’t. He had his entire life to choose a career and hasn’t. Now time’s up, and he’s in a world of trouble. But ...

The Only Way is Murder

Where fake tans and fake smiles abound, a dancing queen must tango with deception to unmask a murderer before the last curtain call.

As her 50th birthday approaches, Chloe Essex prepares to unveil her exciting new business venture in the quaint village of Speckled Hill ...

The Alchemy of Happiness

The Alchemy of Happiness follows Aloysius Williams and his adventures in search of the meaning and practice of happiness. This satire on religion, culture and prejudice will challenge the history buffs and delight all lovers of tall-tales and happy endings.

Powerballs: Be careful what you wish for.

"A lively beach or commute read, this quick, cheerful parody of aging, capitalism, and marriage offers a little bit of everything--comedy, suspense, romance--and even some insights into the meaning of life."
-Booklife by Publishers Weekly
 
...

3mph: The Adventures of One Woman's Walk Around the World

Polly Letofsky left her Colorado home and headed west across 4 continents and over 14,000 miles--by foot--to become the first woman to walk around the world. In a spirit of adventure, along with the goal of raising global awareness for breast cancer, strangers welcomed her into their homes. The w ...

Catsby: A Parody

“The funniest take on a bestseller since Harvard Lampoon’s Bored of the Rings.” — CNBC on Shaffer’s Fifty Shades parody, Fifty Shames of Earl Grey Jay Z. Catsby throws the sickest parties on the Jersey Shore. His neighbor Dick has heard all the rumors: Catsby killed a man. He’s richer than Blue Ivy. ...

Out There: A Short Tale of the Weird and Wonderful

It's a day just like any other day... until something utterly unfamiliar suddenly lands in your back yard. Susan is the epitome of the happy housewife, contentedly conducting her daily ritual of cleaning her home and keeping everything just as it should be. Wrapped up in her own little world within ...