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#4 in THE DEAD RED MYSTERY SERIES A young lonely young artist with a dangerous sideline A wanna be lawman and his shotgun toting granddad A priceless antique race car and an unfortunate Emu ~~~ "Stephanie Plum step aside," by Alana Woods blogger ~~~ When Lalla and her dad take a trip to Arizona to inspect her new property, Dad disappears. Panicked that he's lost in the desert, Lalla enlists the help of a local tracker and finds him unharmed−in the bottom of a mine pit along with a very dead local police chief. Oddly, a young artist from a the art colony up the road will be found strangled in her bed. What're the chances that these two murders are going to be related? Well, if you're Lalla Bains, you don't guess, you start looking for the killer!
#1 in THE DEAD RED MYSTERY SERIES \"Dahlke's \"Dead Red\" series is pure delight with laugh out loud moments, who dunnit moments, and surprises at every turn. I don't know whether i'm a victim or a fan but I can't put them down. The story always includes something that I remember fondly from my own youth or past. All of this series that I have read has been delightful.\" By Soften,Amazon/kindle Twice divorced NY model, Lalla Bains, now runs her dad’s Crop-Dusting business in Modesto, California where she’s hoping to dodge the inevitable fortieth birthday party. But when her vintage Cadillac is found tail-fins up in a nearby lake, the police ask why a widowed piano teacher, who couldn’t possibly see beyond the hood ornament is found strapped in the driver’s seat. Ree ...
#2 in the Dead Red mystery series When a troubled, homeless veteran covers her vintage Cadillac with paper snowflakes, Lalla decides a showdown is needed, but that doesn't mean she wants the man to drop dead at her feet—with a pair of blue handled scissors sticking out of his chest. Though the police ignore his last puzzling poem, Lalla sees it as a clue and decides that someone needs to be on the side of this misunderstood man, and that person will be the exasperating, pushy, tenacious, Ms. Lalla Bains, which begs the question: What would you do if the love of your life lost their chance for a heart transplant because the donor organ went to a convicted felon? Grieve and let go? Or wait for your chance at justice and revenge?
#5 in THE DEAD RED MYSTERY SERIES Thinking to jump start their careers as private investigators, cousins Lalla and Pearlie Bains partner up with an unscrupulous P.I. Unfortunately, their nifty plan starts circling the drain when they discover he's a blackmailing, two-timing, client stealing dirtbag. But when he dies under suspicious circumstances, the duo will have to catch the killer if they want to save their business...and their lives. All they need is a miracle or two.
#3 in THE DEAD RED MYSTERY SERIES "Janet Evanovich meets aero-ag pilots." The Kindle Book Review When a late in the season emergency forces Lalla Bains to accept a greenhorn pilot for her dad's aero ag business, she sighs in relief. After all, he comes highly recommended, his physical is spotless, and with a name like Dewey Treat, what could possibly go wrong? Then the pilot drops dead and his tearful widow is accused of his murder. But if the wife is guilty, then why is a U.S. Marshal and a Las Vegas hitman shadowing Lalla's every move?
First 3 Books in the Dead Red Mystery Series A DEAD RED CADILLAC: Her vintage Cadillac is found tail-fins up in a nearby lake with an elderly widow strapped in the driver’s seat. A DEAD RED HEART: A troubled, homeless veteran drops dead at her feet—with a pair of blue handled scissors sticking out of his chest. A DEAD RED OLEANDER: Her new pilot is really a CPA hiding from a vicious Las Vegas hitman.
Pomeroy, a towering street musician on parole, is out of the clink for the umpteenth time and wants to become a rock star. With fame and fortune in mind, he heads to Occupy Oakland, hoping to get on television, attract an agent, and score a million dollar contract for Ants in My Pants, his marathon ditty. Pomeroy is a skirmish-loving, dumpster-diving, narcissistic crazy who thinks he can sing like Pavarotti and that all women want to jump his bones. His parole officer, a street-smart Hispanic woman, tells Pomeroy to quit staring at her alligator pumps and get himself a real plan. But Pomeroy has schemes of his own and more wisdom than we'd like to admit. You may find his egocentric opinions politically incorrect. ("There ain't a dyke alive ol' Pomeroy can't turn straight.") You may find yo ...
Shelby Nichols is an average woman who is married to the only guy she ever fell for. Her life is organized and predictable, revolving around her husband and two children. All that changes the day she stops at the grocery store for some carrots. As the cashier rings up her purchases, a gunman is busy robbing the bank inside the store. When a customer grabs the robber’s mask, he is shot and everyone runs for cover. Everyone except Shelby, who finds herself face to face with the killer. The next thing she knows, she’s lying on the floor with a bullet wound to her head. Luckily, the bullet only grazes her scalp, and she doesn’t suspect any lasting affects until later, when she suddenly ‘hears’ what people are thinking. With this uncanny ability, her life takes on a whole new dimension. Her ki ...
I stumble upon celebrities all over Los Angeles and HAVE to talk to them. Sometimes this works out. Mostly it doesn't.
Cheese Tarts and Fluffy Socks: Complex, Enthralling Romance Novel Proves Sex & Work is a Cocktail Best Left Unshaken The most recent in a long line of celebrated romance novels from Nikki Ashton, ‘Cheese Tarts and Fluffy Socks’ zeroes in on a steamy one-night stand that, unknown to either party, is about to kick-off a working relationship that is far more than awkward. A hotel badly in need of investment, a young entrepreneur has been sent in to decide if it’s a good investment, but the daughter of the owner is…well…you get the picture. Darrington Hall hotel is barely keeping afloat, and it's up to Holly Jenkins to save it. Jumping from one crisis to another, dealing with an errant father, irate guests and enduring some highly charged professional differ ...
Writer, Beth, visits the same café every afternoon, enjoying her latte and a chocolate truffle while scribbling in her notebook. The delicious treats keep her coming back day after day, not to mention the inspiration she finds there – Samuel. The barista is tall, dark and delicious, and his stare could melt chocolate from a hundred paces.
Since her divorce, Beth’s love life has been close to extinct, but the sight of Samuel, his dark, brooding good looks and amazing dragon tattoo, kick it into overdrive. A smouldering volcano waiting to erupt in flames of passion. But Beth knows it’s unlikely he’d go for her, an older woman, when he could have anyone.
Over the course of a week, the tension between them rises almost to boiling point. Wh ...
A corpse, a cantankerous camel, an entertaining array of suspects, and a yule tide of problems along the way…it must be a Flo and Agnes Christmas! Who would have guessed Agnes would rub Penelope the cranky camel the wrong way? Or that Flo would find herself ankle deep in camel dung while fending off a masked murderer? Or that TC would, once again, get on the wrong side of her handsome detective in an attempt to help her friends? Why…anybody who’s been to Silver Hills before…that’s who!
Your chance to buy the three hilarious Crouch End Confidential cozy mystery series in one bargain box set. Follow the misadventures of bored chaotic housewife, Cathy, as she starts out investigating a lipstick-covered love postcard to husband Declan and discovers a talent for exposing murderers and running her own detective agency. Looking for La La – Cathy, world’s least organized mother, finds her predictable marriage upturned as she investigates a lipstick-covered love postcard sent to husband, Declan. Could Declan really be having an affair? And why do all her friends seem to be hiding secrets? With a handsome artist admirer igniting long-forgotten sparks and the scheming antics of Declan’s new assistant, it's obvious Cathy’s marriage is in jeopardy. But there i ...
PLEASE NOTE: Only the first 10 requesters will receive free books. BUT: Amazon has the 4-book AGGIE MUNDEEN series on sale for $8.97 at http://tinyurl.com/AggieMundeen. In DANG NEAR DEAD, Aggie, Detective Sam (traveling incognito) and friend Meredith vacation at a dude ranch, a prickly destination for dudes. Besides wranglers, ex-cons and critters, what could go wrong? When an expert rider flies off a horse, Home on the Range means murder. Chanticleer Award Finalist: Mystery & Mayhem. “Intricate plot with a satisfying ending. Bursts of humor in this novel had me roaring with laughter.” _Diana M. Hockley, reviewer for Australia and NetGalley.
A brand new female vicar. An accident-prone nun. Two friends. Two killings. Annabelle and Mary are best friends. But when one gets framed for murder, can the other one save her? Assigned to St. Clement's Church in an inner-city borough just outside Hackney in London, Reverend Annabelle Dixon brings an enthusiasm and drive to her clerical position that baffles her mentor, Father John, but which soon gains her fans and admiration. Annabelle is not your typical vicar, but her strengths prove to serve her, and those around her, very well. When Annabelle plans to meet her longtime friend, Sister Mary, a Catholic nun visiting from West Africa, at a local café, little does she know that she will soon find herself embroiled in a mystery of deadly design. Their meeting place is awash with ho ...
As a struggling waitress and part-time college student, Rose Strickland’s life is stalled in the slow lane. But when her close friend, Axton, disappears, Rose suddenly finds herself serving up more than hot coffee and flapjacks. Now she’s hashing it out with sexy bad guys and scrambling to find clues in a race to save Axton before his time runs out. With her anime-loving bestie, her septuagenarian boss, and a pair of IT wise men along for the ride, Rose goes from zero to sixty and quickly learns when you’re speeding down the fast lane, it’s easy to crash and burn.
Silver Hills Senior and Singles Residence isn’t exactly a boring place. Home to a death predicting cat named Tolstoy, a night manager who may or may not suck blood and float above the floor, a cook with mad voodoo and pie baking powers, and a trio of nosy sleuths who are determined to get to the bottom of the corpse in the library (maybe literally)…some might say things couldn’t get any weirder. Some would be wrong.
Hollywood actress Hope Hadley doesn't think that things can get any worse for her. In the last twenty-four hours, her boyfriend has broken up with her and her long-running police procedural TV show has been canceled.
When a homicide detective shows up at her door the next morning with news that her ex-boyfriend has been murdered, she realizes that her troubles are just beginning. She is shocked--not only to learn of her ex's death, but also to find out that the police consider her to be a suspect in the killing.
This tale of Agnes Anne O’Neil, a 28 year-old virgin who struggles to leave home, will both captivate and tickle your funny bone. You’ll meet her wacky Irish Catholic family, her favorite saints and pet snail, and the evil that pursues her. You’ll chuckle when she introduces her Jewish boyfriend to her parents and worry when her brother-in-law, obsessed with her virginity, won’t leave her alone. Can she escape both her clinging family and her brother-in-law’s lecherous advances?
BE THE FIRST TO READ ANNIVERSARY EDITION OF GRADE A STUPID! Stephanie Plum meets Veronica Mars meets The Blacklist in this #1 Amazon Bestseller in Teens Mysteries & Thrillers, Spies and Detective Stories. Darcy Walker is a 15-year-old girl without purpose--pretty but disheveled, clever but directionless, and infatuated with a bad boy. Everything changes when she skips class and finds a dead body. When a fellow misfit is charged with the crime, Darcy goes Mach 1 to clear his name--chasing every dangerous lead and living life like a verb. Trouble is, will she live to see sixteen?
A lifeless hand rises ghost-like from a car mechanic's pit. Who does it belong to? And what happened? Annabelle and DI Nicholls set out to solve the murder, but find themselves wrapped up in not one, but three different mysteries. A puppy helps, too.
When TJ, a fat neckbeard small time youtuber living with his mom met a strange girl in his one note town, he thought his luck was changing. What he didn’t know, on her heels were a deepweb gameshow bent on bringing his hick mountain town to its knees, just for sport.
Unleashing flesh hungry, zombies, feral survivors and monstrous abortions of science onto his once peaceful town. TJ is forced to embrace his own fantasy and play a sick game for a hungry internet audience, get the girl, kill the bad guys and save what remains of his burning town or failing that just himself, his mother and his collection anime figures.
Cute for kids, a bit twisted and funny for adults! A Guppy??
But I wanted a Puppy! Guppy Butter is the darkly humorous tale of a young girl's wish for a puppy, but who ends up getting a Guppy instead.
She tries her best to meet her father's demands that if she can keep a fish alive, she'll be allowed to get a puppy.
Tragedy after humorous tragedy ensues as she endures the taunts of her older brother and does her best to keep her fishies alive!
Complimented by the amazing art of artist Amanda Gielen, this illustrated tale will leave you laughing!
Ever wonder what Elvis would tweet? Or what exactly is in a Grateful Dead cocktail? Does ZZ Top use their beards for good or evil? Does Ozzy Osbourne have bat breath? And what ever happened to Maroon 4? Discover things you never knew about your favorite rock stars in this fun look at Rock & Roll.
In this second edition in his History Retweets Itself series, comedy writer Bill Rodgers offers up interesting facts about some of Rock & Roll's greatest stars vie ...
Bill Rodgers makes us laugh until our sides hurt in this hilarious look at current events - today and yesterday. “Bill has been making me laugh for over twenty years!” - Jay Leno “Will tickle your funny bone. Damned clever!” - Jesse Sublett, Author, Musician, Austin Character “Bill knows where the funny is.” - Shannon Sedwick, Esther’s Follies
He just wants her to take life a little more seriously. She's decided he could have a point. Especially now that somebody wants her dead. Dolfe Honeybun broke up with Blaise Runa because her party girl ways were driving him to distraction. Unfortunately, out of sight does NOT mean out of mind. And when his favorite party girl sees something she shouldn’t and finds herself being chased by a cold blooded killer... reason shuts down and Dolfe's heart takes over. If only he can get to her in time!
The four MacLeod sisters are no strangers to sisterly rivalry and with one of them about to be married, there are bound to be fireworks. Perfectionist Natalie wants the 'wedding of the year'. Harassed mother, Milly, just wishes her bridesmaid's dress wasn't the size of a tent. Career-obsessed Avril secretly moons over a married man and world traveler, Hazel, the youngest, yearns to be taken seriously. Forced together for the first time in years, and with an unexpected guest stirring up old resentments, squabbles are inevitable. But when tragedy strikes things really fly apart - as some shocking skeletons emerge rattling from the crowded MacLeod closet...
The first book in the series introduces us to Johnny Tee, a wandering vagabond with a troubled past and an even bleaker future. A fighter, gambler, and liar Johnny Tee has lived a life that has been one misstep after another. He makes a decision to go the straight and narrow that is going to be harder than he thinks due to the fact that he is a complete idiot. Navigating the city's dirty underbelly should be no problem for a guy who is a magnet for trouble, and he's going to need the help of some unwilling friends and the power of unrequited love to save the day.
Johnny Books 1-3 make up The Organized Crime Trilogy. Johnny Tee is a wandering vagabond with a troubled past and an even bleaker future. His decision to go the straight and narrow goes haywire when he gets mixed up in the city's dirty underbelly. Coming out on top is going to be tougher than he thinks due to the fact that he is both a magnet for trouble and a complete moron. It's going to take the power of some unwilling friends and some unrequited love to save the day.
Fate and idiocy has brought Johnny to Maui. In the final book of the first Johnny Trilogy, Johnny in Maui, working for an international crime organization against his will. Johnny is finally valuable because of his natural born ability to drive. He will have to drive anything and everything in order to save the world. It's too bad for us that he is a complete moron.
Trouble has a way of finding Johnny Tee. That's why after years of consorting with organized crime types, he is set on finding a legitimate job and making a go of it as a functional member of society. He will fail miserably. As a new trilogy begins, Johnny is off to join the world of real estate. It's escrows. It's liens. It's a bunch of other terms he doesn't know and isn't learning. That's okay because Johnny is a born salesmen. But it's also not okay because he's a born idiot.
With $120 dollars in his pocket and his life back on track, Johnny heads out to the one place in the world where absolutely nothing can go wrong: Las Vegas. It isn't long before the good-hearted Johnny is involved with the city's most dangerous criminals. The clock is running and the race is on. Johnny has 24 hours to be a hero. ---------------- Trouble has a way of finding Johnny Tee. A wandering derelict without the benefit of logical reasoning on his side, he is off to make the world a better place. To the outside observer, that's not what it looks like he's doing.
Johnny continues his quest to find a spot in the working world and thinks he has finally found the solution: clientele who are in cages and verbally refuse his service. But when Johnny is given more responsibility than he should have, the animals, the customers, and the entire city are in for trouble.
HETTA COFFEY IS A SASSY TEXAN WITH A SNAZZY YACHT, AND SHE'S NOT AFRAID TO USE IT! Just Add Water, winner of the National EPPIE Award for BEST MYSTERY. Hetta Coffey is a globe-trotting civil engineer with a swath of failed multi-national affairs in her jet stream. Plying the San Francisco waterfront, trolling for triceps, her attention is snagged by a parade of passing yachts—especially their predominantly male skippers—and experiences a champagne-induced epiphany: If she had a boat, she could get a man. In spite of a spectacular ignorance of all things nautical, Hetta buys her dream boat, but a shadowy stalker, an inconvenient body, and Hetta’s own self-destructive foibles imperil her goal. Hetta Coffey brings a whole new meaning to the phrase “sink or swim!”
Bored stay at home mother, Cathy, finds her predictable routine upturned as she investigates a lipstick-covered love postcard sent to husband, Declan. Who is this mysterious La La? Could Declan really be having an affair? And - wait - is Cathy actually being stalked? With all her friends hiding secrets, a sexy admirer igniting long-forgotten sparks, and the stress of organizing the school's Save The Toilets dance, soon it's not only Cathy's marriage that's in jeopardy. Add in the scheming antics of Declan's new assistant and a possible murderer on the scene and the stage is set for a dangerous showdown and some very unsettling, even deadly, revelations.
Love can be quite a trip. Whether it's that first magnetic encounter with a fascinating stranger, the desperate wait for a call that never comes, or even the lies and deceptions of an illicit affair, there's nothing like the power of attraction to have us acting like crazy fools. Many of these twenty funny, twist or thoughtful short tales by bestselling novelist Ellie Campbell (aka sisters Pam Burks and Lorraine Campbell), were first published internationally in top women's magazines like That's Life, Bella, Take a Break, Woman, Woman's Own and Chat. So grab a glass of wine, fasten your seatbelt and get ready for a bumpy ride along the rocky road to romance. It may be turbulent but it's still a whole lot of fun! ...
An anthology of twisted humor, erotic horror and culinary experimentation. Featuring demented authors from all over the world, coming together to delight and terrify you. Intended for mature audiences.
The 17 Sensually Sinister Stories include -
A Woman’s Corn - Two secret lovers with more secrets then either of them knew, brings about a special witches brew while the devil stews.
By J. Donnait
Charlies Chunky Munching Meat - A tale of obsession over a certain pink meat, gone too far.
By Stephen McQuiggan
Halloween Nosh - Two old-world vampires celebrating their love during the holidays with a special feast in the dungeon.
By Brandon Ketchum
Biscuit : A Love Story - ...
Crouch End Confidential, the agency started by housewife and mother, Cathy O'Farrell, with ex-cleaner, Pimple, is failing badly. Hardly surprising when Cathy's too soft-hearted to charge their only clients, little old ladies seeking lost pets and a school kid searching for his stolen bike. A new case involving a teenager in possession of an unexplained Glock pistol promises to change all that. Quickly Cathy's deep in waters over her head, forced with hilarious results to pose as a mathematics tutor, a subject of which she's truly clueless. There's also the tricky situation of best friend and new mother Rosa hiring her to investigate her fiancé, Alec, plus the mysterious sabotage of Cathy's friends' cycle shop and a gang of yobbos dealing drugs at her children's primary school. Wors ...
The true story of the four months I spent in Paris, France taking care of my Mom and trying not to have a nervous breakdown, mainly because I didn't know the French word for it.
Emmy winners, magazine editors, comedians, TV personalities, bestselling authors and social media superstars team up to bring you a laugh-out-loud book not about being a mom, but about having a mom, grandmom or mom-figure. And while it's not OK for someone else to make yo-momma jokes about your momma, it is perfectly healthy — even downright hilarious — to find the humor in your own upbringing. In fact, these writers highly recommend it. So if you think your mom is nuts, pull up a chair. You're in good company.
There's a prankster in all of us. Whether you're carving evil messages into your coworker's banana peel or telling your kids that, yes, raisins are actually dehydrated people, there's a certain, sinister-yet-fun draw to really messing with people. In Perhaps I’ve Said Too Much (the much anticipated follow-up to the heralded, award-winning Things Go Wrong For Me), Rodney Lacroix gives the reader some insight on what it's like to live the prankster life. No one is safe, including Rodney himself as not all of his antics go entirely as planned. Join him as he spins some yarns, gives you some new ideas and lets you relive the catastrophic consequences of jokes gone terribly wrong. Complete with original hand-drawn artwork and graphics, one-two punch Brain Nuggets, and the ever-popular Dra ...
Interior Decorator Madison Night might look like a throwback to the sixties, but as business owner and landlord, she proves that independent women can have it all. But when a killer targets women dressed in her signature style—estate sale vintage to play up her resemblance to fave actress Doris Day—what makes her unique might make her dead. The local detective connects the new crime to a twenty-year old cold case, and Madison's long-trusted contractor emerges as the leading suspect. As the body count piles up, Madison uncovers a Soviet spy, a campaign to destroy all Doris Day movies, and six minutes of film that will change her life forever.
Reckless Traveler: an autobiographical novel of adventuring in South America, sure to delight anyone with a passport. Perú and beyond: Through the alchemy of travel, youthful folly may bring disaster or wisdom . . . and more. The instructional travel guide for aspiring backpackers: learn how to bribe police, avoid malaria, and find employment abroad -- and what to do (and not to do) when armed mercenaries detain your charter bus. Awaken your inner explorer with Walter Rhein's Reckless Traveler, expat tales from a decade of discovery.
"OMG, if ever a book deserved more than 5 stars it’s this cracker. Outstanding, laugh out loud, panty melting goodness all wrapped up in one heartfelt package!"
"Romans having sex again is an hilarious romance of the best kind , witty, sharp and unexpectedly sweet all wrapped up in a very delicious book."
"Absolutely loved this book. Had just the right amount of funny mixed with sexy"
"My life is shite, and more boring than an iced finger – it’s basically bread for goodness sake; where’s the cream? To top it all off, my boss, Roman ‘The Ego’ Hepburn, hates me."
Summer James has suffered a devastating change to her life, one that could shape her future. To make ...
FINALIST - 2016 IAN Book of the Year Awards From the bestselling author of Things Go Wrong for Me and Perhaps I've Said Too Much... In this hilarious, heartfelt and surprisingly useful book, bestselling humor author and comedian Rodney Lacroix opens up about his failed romantic endeavors and - more importantly - how you can avoid the same hysterically bad (and sometimes wince-inducing/dry-heave generating) mistakes. Let's face it. Everyone can use a little help in the dating and love departments. It just so happens that sometimes such help comes in the form of a hysterical book that has a cover showing a teddy bear riddled with arrows and the word "Hell" in the title. Written in Rodney's trademarked comedic style, Romantic As Hell gives some great relationship advice like: - Why shouldn't ...
Stowaways in lifeboats? Germans claiming deckchairs? When passengers from many places are together on a cruiseship, there's gotta be fun – through 10 countries, 15 ports, across 17 seas. Readers say: “a very amusing fiction-from-fact traveling journal…sailing through seventeen seas, stopping at exotic ports…we view the cruise through the eyes of a cross section of passengers.” “I have recommended the book both to my friends who cruise as well as people who have never cruised and would like to. This book gives a realistic view of what cruising is like in a fun and fictionalized manner.”
Bobert McGee is just a regular guy. Anonymous in his job and his life, Bobert's singular obsession is to make a difference in the world. He wants to be noticed. He wants to be famous. He wants to matter. Bobert's desires come true when he stumbles across a time machine for sale on an Internet shopping page. Scrambling all the savings he has, he buys the machine with the intention of changing history and improving the world for all of mankind. In doing so, Bobert will finally become the man he's always wanted to be. Bobert will become the man who saved the lives of millions. Bobert will be the man who changed history. Bobert will be the man who stopped Hitler. But Bobert is a giant wimp, so he'll need to stop Hitler when it's easy for him to do so. Going back in time to when Hitler was a ba ...
Dorothy Parker Award; First digital book nominated for Romantic Times Reviewer’s Choice Award A comedy romance suspense novel Her mom has been hoping a man would fall in Stan’s lap. But when a handsome spy dives through the sunroof of her car, Isabel “Stan” Stanley’s pretty sure this wasn't what her mom had in mind. A cute smile can help with—but not hide—the hail of bullets. And that name? Oh my that name. CIA agent Kelvin Kapone-with-a-K has managed to survive and thrive in the big bad world, but the ‘burbs and the wannabe romance author could be his greatest challenge in getting out alive, not to mention heart whole…
From the best-selling author of "Perhaps I've Said Too Much" and "Romantic as Hell."
Hilariously frank and hysterically wince-inducing, "The Vasectomy Diaries" is one man's true account of undergoing the harrowing procedure known as "the vasectomy." Rodney takes you along on his journey for sterilization, starting with the moment he makes the life-changing decision, to the snip itself, and all the way to the final reveal on whether or not ...
Weekends are hell.
If you do them right.
That's the subtext of the columns scrawled by Wiley from various states of semi-consciousness as he slinks out of the woodwork and insinuates himself into the soft underbelly of Southern California consciousness. Wilier than a coyote, badder than Santa, Gonzo'er than Dr. Duke, the Wilester lays waste to everybody in range, not least himself.
There are two tributaries to the flow of "The Way of the Weekend Warrior": a normal (more of less) plot of a demented outsider snarfing up the media scene, and the content of the columns he writes and broadcasts as his weapon against normality and status quo. Taken from the syndicated cult column of the nineties, these passages snidely sneer, raucously rant, surrealistically swoop, and ...
Orgasms, Chocolate & Zombies?
Just an average day for Jonah, Judas & JJ.
The Zee Brothers have a strange and dangerous vocation. While some hunt rodents or pests in the dark, Jonah and Judas tackle much larger prey… Zombies. Equipped with a well-loved artillery gun, DeeDee, and a much used and somewhat abused pickup truck called Sasha, the duo clear the night of undead pests, keeping the ever-present threat of a Zombie Apocalypse at bay.
When the slap happy pair receives an after hours call for extermination that ends in a gurgle, they head out, guns locked and catch pole loaded. It seems that an incredibly foolish developer built a high cost, gated community atop an old indian Reservation – a Reservation that soon became a graveyard and home ...
FINALIST - 2013 Next Generation Indie Book Awards (Humor/Humour) FINALIST - 2013 National Indie Excellence Book Awards (Humor/Humour) Think you've got it bad? You ain't seen nothing yet. Murphy's Law, meet Rodney's Law. If it can go wrong, it has already happened to Rodney Lacroix in the worst, most comedic way humanly possible. And you'll find all of those stories right here, in full-color detail, right in this book. Things Go Wrong For Me (when life hands you lemons, add vodka) is a memoir of sorts, a roadmap of Rodney Lacroix's haywire life thus far. If you think you're having a bad day, this book is a great reminder that it can always get worse. This is typically at Rodney Lacroix's expense, sadly for him. There's no doubt, if you enjoy snorting milk through your nose, and you're drink ...
Cathy is riding high in her brand-new job at a (surprisingly bitchy) top London advertising agency working with best friend Rosa. But when Rosa’s pregnancy goes amiss and enemies sabotage her new career, she finds herself leading a chaotic double life of lies and deception, hiding a shameful secret from all, especially husband Declan who appears in the throes of a nervous breakdown. Meanwhile she’s agreed to unmask the notorious Crouch End Creeper, a burglar terrorizing their neighborhood. Little does she know that her meddling, assisted by fellow mothers (the Wednesday Once Weeklies) and the Neighborhood Watch, will lead their dangerous opponent to murder. And that it's not only the tall elegant transvestite who is placing herself at risk...
In Fairyland 200 years after the 'happy ending' Cinderella is plotting to divorce Charming. The other royal families aren't happy either. Sleeping Beauty is making up for all that lost time by producing 28 children her husband can't afford. Snow White, the perfect lady is married to a king who beds every wench in the kingdom. The Grand Annual Ball is approaching to marry off the next generation, but there is a scarcity of princes. Into all this chaos arrives the Green Giant sent by the Red Party to ferment revolution among the happy peasants. The stage is set for disaster.