Guppy Butter

Cute for kids, a bit twisted and funny for adults! A Guppy??

But I wanted a Puppy! Guppy Butter is the darkly humorous tale of a young girl's wish for a puppy, but who ends up getting a Guppy instead.

She tries her best to meet her father's demands that if she can keep a fish aliv ...

Thirteen Magic Pumpkin Seeds

Finn Dagdaman's six-year-old life was saved with experimental robotic body parts, making him feel even more of an awkward misfit. When the military rediscovers his bionic abilities as an adult and offers to make him a fully bionic super-soldier, part of Finn yearns to be a hero like his brother. ...

Carrots: A Shelby Nichols Adventure

Shelby Nichols is an average woman who is married to the only guy she ever fell for. Her life is organized and predictable, revolving around her husband and two children. All that changes the day she stops at the grocery store for some carrots. As the cashier rings up her purchases, a gunman is b ...

A Dead Tomato Plant and a Paycheck

What on earth do a dead tomato plant and a paycheck have in common? Maryann Miller explores the fun and foibles of how to survive parenting a large family, while vainly keeping body and mind intact. From School Daze to Summertime Blues, and everything in between, the book airs the Miller laundry wit ...

Step Inside and See What Happens

What if the only way to escape your troubled life was through a secret portal?

In “J.J. Fowler,” a middle school outcast stumbles upon a door hidden in the blackberry bushes. On the other side is a room that shouldn’t exist—one that shifts and reshapes each time he e ...

Barking Mad at Murder

Frankie Chandler is a charlatan. Though she promotes herself as a pet psychic, her profound revelations come from animal behavior books and her ability to interpret the owner’s body language. Then an appointment with a new client goes horribly wrong and leaves her with images of a woman’s murder. Im ...

Death By Corporate America

This faceless corporate worker bee has had enough...and there's murder on her mind... After years of climbing the corporate ladder to achieve her ultimate goal---elite C-suite status---Adrian Banner has finally made it to the top of the morally corrupt mega-corporation she works for. Or so she think ...

Space Balls: Houston, We Have Liftoff

Billionaire Rose West suffers no fools. Growing up abandoned by her parents and left to the socialite wolves at an all-girl boarding school, Rose learned early on how to survive with a smile, a wink, and cleavage full of cash. As an oil baroness, a soon-to-be honors graduate from a prestigious unive ...

WAYNE HAWKINS THE REALM

The Malfoys fight Wayne Hawkins and the resistance. At times the wizards prevail. Then the resistance wins in the end. 

Chief Sitting Moose (the bonus story) is about a band of American natives taking over a saloon in the wild west. It's a humorous tale about the chief and his men fightin ...

Some Like It Shot

“Danger was part of my job description, but none of my contingency plans anticipated an attack by a Maine Coon.” It’s summer on Whisper Island. Ex-cop-turned-private-investigator Maggie Doyle is looking forward to sun, fun, and romance. Instead, she gets bills, an assault allegation, and a busted wr ...

Johnny Driver

Fate and idiocy has brought Johnny to Maui. In the final book of the first Johnny Trilogy, Johnny in Maui, working for an international crime organization against his will. Johnny is finally valuable because of his natural born ability to drive. He will have to drive anything and everything in order ...

Bride of Careful-ish

If your wedding venue cancels your wedding but keeps your deposit, and your parents continue badmouthing your fiancée, who keeps jabbing at you about your weight, would you think the universe was trying to tell you something?

Kimi sure does. Her friends disagree. But why do they get a say? For ...

St. Batzy & the Time Machine

After all the years they had been married, Maddie Ainsworth's presence still had the ability to discombobulate Horace. She was as tall as his own six feet--the reason they saw eye-to-eye on most things, they joked. To Horace, she was more beautiful than when they met thirty-some years ago. Maddie lo ...

Decanted

"...a page turning, international, sensually romantic, rags to riches, grape to wine saga." –A Woman's Write From author Linda Sheehan, who's part of a Napa wine family, comes a story of grapes, wine, first crushes, and juicy redemption. Dreading the desk job that awaits her after high school, eight ...

Tangled Up In Tuesday: A Page Turners Novel

Organized accountant Zoey Allen likes her life neat and tidy. But it goes from managed to messy when a dead body ends up in her apartment on an ordinary Tuesday night. After uncovering a money-laundering scheme in a routine audit at her company, Zoey finds herself the target in a murderous plot that ...

The Huge Book of Amazing Facts and Interesting Stuff 2024

Golden Monkey

Little Lance Pototschnik wanted to grow up and play pro football, but that pipe dream got smoked by his lethargic growth hormones and a terrible skin disorder. The death of his childhood aspirations did, however, plant the seeds for Lance to find comedy in rejection and suffering. In this gaspingly ...

My Life in Ladies' Knickers

Another outrageous full-length comedy satire novel from Oscar Sparrow. 

Reckless Traveler

Reckless Traveler: an autobiographical novel of adventuring in South America, sure to delight anyone with a passport. Perú and beyond: Through the alchemy of travel, youthful folly may bring disaster or wisdom . . . and more. The instructional travel guide for aspiring backpackers: learn how ...

The Only Way is Murder

Where fake tans and fake smiles abound, a dancing queen must tango with deception to unmask a murderer before the last curtain call.

As her 50th birthday approaches, Chloe Essex prepares to unveil her exciting new business venture in the quaint village of Speckled Hill ...

Fame Is A Killer

Hollywood actress Hope Hadley doesn't think that things can get any worse for her. In the last twenty-four hours, her boyfriend has broken up with her and her long-running police procedural TV show has been canceled.  ...

Hollywood Ending

The 2008 recession hits. The US economy goes belly-up and sentences a young generation to wayward lives. With nothing to lose, Lance Pototschnik and his best friend, Jackson Greenly, decide to go for their artist dreams. Lance begins a grassroots initiative to sell an original screenplay to Hollywoo ...

A Dame Called Derek

Charlie's marriage has hit rock bottom and his bed is a lonely place. He tries his hand at erotica but will his writing light his wife’s fire or douse it out for good? Charlie’s story has her laughing into her morning latte. Charlies is a house husband and in her eyes his talents remain with past ...

Christmas Pawsibilities

Former playboy Ryan Madison has wanted no one else since he met elfenchaun, Dori. He has waited many long months for her to be certain she could love a mere human and his quirky family. Now, as they are planning their Christmas wedding, a box of broken childhood memories arrives, as well as a space ...

Aunt Maddie's Farm

When a sleuthing witch leaves her unique "wee beasties" with eccentric artist, Aunt Maddie, rib-tickling chaos is bound to happen. With the elven-looking witch undercover to help solve the mystery of unusual deaths at a local nursing facility, her street-wise sidekick, Sadie Justice, may have met ...

Amusing Musings

Warning: This book may be a choking hazard if read while eating or drinking. If you’re a fan of Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey, then you’re going to love Amusing Musings. Get ready to enjoy the most hilarious book of the year. This hysterical compilation of profound thoughts and hilarious one liners w ...

Didn't Get Frazzled

A provocative and humorous novel about four years in the life of an intrepid young medical student, set in the grueling world of an elite NYC medical school. “…the best fictional portrayal of med school since ER.” – BlueInk Review, starred review 2017 International Book Awards Bronze Medal Winner ...

The Fall of Baby Hitler: Sometimes Evil Wears a Diaper

Bobert McGee is just a regular guy. Anonymous in his job and his life, Bobert's singular obsession is to make a difference in the world. He wants to be noticed. He wants to be famous. He wants to matter. Bobert's desires come true when he stumbles across a time machine for sale on an Internet shoppi ...

After The Calendar

When it’s your 10th year of fundraising for charity it’s hard to find a new idea. The women come up with a scheme to benefit the local hospice but it goes way past their comfort zone. Can they, should they, go ahead? Then there’s the matter of the Board of Trustees – men who are bound to op ...

Unhappily Ever After

In Fairyland 200 years after the 'happy ending' Cinderella is plotting to divorce Charming. The other royal families aren't happy either. Sleeping Beauty is making up for all that lost time by producing 28 children her husband can't afford. Snow White, the perfect lady is married to a king who be ...

First Friday: How virginity almost killed me

This tale of Agnes Anne O’Neil, a 28 year-old virgin who struggles to leave home, will both captivate and tickle your funny bone. You’ll meet her wacky Irish Catholic family, her favorite saints and pet snail, and the evil that pursues her. You’ll chuckle when she introduces her Je ...

How To Murder a Millionaire

Murder. Millionaires. Mankinis. Armed with her newly issued private investigator's license, Maggie Doyle is on the case…of a sheep that went missing twenty-two years ago. When she trips over a dead body on the first day of the investigation, Maggie realizes there’s more to this cold case t ...

Daughter of Carefulish

It starts with a hangover. Could it end with an international incident?

 The Joy (yes, that’s what she calls herself) is the crazy glue holding together this group of reprobates. Meet six tight friends who are the picture of social, financial and ethnic diversity. They’re also struggling togethe ...

Perhaps I've Said Too Much - A Great Big Book of Messing with People

There's a prankster in all of us. Whether you're carving evil messages into your coworker's banana peel or telling your kids that, yes, raisins are actually dehydrated people, there's a certain, sinister-yet-fun draw to really messing with people. In Perhaps I’ve Said Too Much (the much antici ...

Collar Cases #1: Case of the Robbed Recipe

Investigative journalists Mittens Meow and Alex Digger race to the rescue when Alex’s favorite baker discovers a shocking theft, threatening the future of her business. Can they uncover the culprit in time? A Christian mystery chapter book for readers 7-12.

The Vasectomy Diaries

From the best-selling author of "Perhaps I've Said Too Much" and "Romantic as Hell."

Southlea Bay (3 Book Series)

From Book 1:Librarian Janet Johnson is puzzled when she is invitedand practically draggedto her first meeting of the Rejected Writers Book Club. This quirky group of women would much rather celebrate one anothers rejected manuscripts over cups of tea and slices of lemon cake than actually publish a ...

Seventeen Seas

Stowaways in lifeboats? Germans claiming deckchairs? When passengers from many places are together on a cruiseship, there's gotta be fun – through 10 countries, 15 ports, across 17 seas. Readers say: “a very amusing fiction-from-fact traveling journal…sailing through seventeen seas, stopping at exot ...

Galactic Kitty

Lucifer is a highly trained alien operative on a critical mission: decode a set of tarot cards and save his species from furry extinction. But when he’s mistaken f ...

Catsby: A Parody

“The funniest take on a bestseller since Harvard Lampoon’s Bored of the Rings.” — CNBC on Shaffer’s Fifty Shades parody, Fifty Shames of Earl Grey Jay Z. Catsby throws the sickest parties on the Jersey Shore. His neighbor Dick has heard all the rumors: Catsby killed a man. He’s richer than Blue Ivy. ...

Reality Bites Back Again

“You’ve been cancelled!” Daniel North, now the most famous man in Britain, is navigating the fickle world of celebrity. It’s a daily battle as he opens his DMs – is it another unsolicited nude, or a request for him to kill himself? There’s no grey area with the Reality TV fandom, and he’s reluctantl ...

Jagdlied: a Chamber Novel for Narrator, Musicians, Pantomimists, Dancers & Culinary Artists

WARNING to prospective readers as to this title’s potentially shocking and disturbing (read: X-RATED!!!) graphic and literary content: A reviewer at LITERARY TITAN, tho ...

The 39 Cupcakes

Ex-cop-turned-P.I. Maggie Doyle is stuck chaperoning a group of bratty summer camp kids to an archaeological dig on Whisper Island. After a day of fart jokes, fidget spinners, and fist fights, Maggie's regretting volunteering—and then one of her feral charges discovers a skeleton. At first it looks ...

Johnny 12 Steps

The first book in the series introduces us to Johnny Tee, a wandering vagabond with a troubled past and an even bleaker future. A fighter, gambler, and liar Johnny Tee has lived a life that has been one misstep after another. He makes a decision to go the straight and narrow that is going to be hard ...

Cheese Tarts & Fluffy Socks

Cheese Tarts and Fluffy Socks: Complex, Enthralling Romance Novel Proves Sex & Work is a Cocktail Best Left Unshaken The most recent in a long line of celebrated romance novels from Nikki Ashton, ‘Cheese Tarts and Fluffy Socks’ zeroes in on a steamy one-night stand that, unknown to e ...

The Rejected Writers' Book Club

Librarian Janet Johnson is puzzled when she is invited—and practically dragged—to her first meeting of the Rejected Writers’ Book Club. This quirky group of women would much rather celebrate one another’s rejected manuscripts over cups of tea and slices of lemon cake than actually publish a book. Bu ...

Grave New World (Down & Dirty Supernatural Cleaning Services, #1)

Sometimes you have to play dirty. I’m Paige Harper and I clean up supernatural messes. But my personal life is something I can’t seem to straighten out. I accidentally married a fae, and even though we've been divorced for years, Jax still manages to land me in hot water. Like, putting my house on t ...

Celebrity sTalker

I stumble upon celebrities all over Los Angeles and HAVE to talk to them. Sometimes this works out. Mostly it doesn't.

Things Go Wrong for Me

FINALIST - 2013 Next Generation Indie Book Awards (Humor/Humour) FINALIST - 2013 National Indie Excellence Book Awards (Humor/Humour) Think you've got it bad? You ain't seen nothing yet. Murphy's Law, meet Rodney's Law. If it can go wrong, it has already happened to Rodney Lacroix in the worst, most ...

Aerobics Can Be Deadly (Bucket List Mysteries 1)

When this odd couple signs up to be extras in a fitness video, it’s lights, camera… murder. Sho Tanaka is desperate for normalcy. Uncomfortably getting by in a tiny Texas town after prescription drugs cost him his job, the last thing the disgraced nurse needs is a former tween TV star roping him int ...

A DEAD RED ALIBI

When Lalla and her dad take a trip to Arizona to inspect her new property, Dad disappears. Panicked that he's lost in the desert, Lalla enlists the help of a local tracker and finds him unharmed at the bottom of a mine pit. But dad has company. A very dead local police chief. And within a stone's t ...

The Spy Who Kissed Me

This suburbanite is about to meet a dashing spy… Isabel “Stan” Stanley is stuck in a rut in the DC suburbs. As a wannabe romance writer, she hopes a sexy muse falls into her lap. But she never expected a handsome spy to dive through her sunroof… Pursued by a hail of bullets, international CIA ...

No More Poodle Skirts

When the love of her life died suddenly, Daphne Madison retreated to the innocent age of the 1950s when all a girl had to worry about was keeping her bobby socks and the pompom on her poodle skirt a brilliant white. With years of support from her loving and zany family, Daphne finally found a bit ...

Johnny Real Estate

Trouble has a way of finding Johnny Tee. That's why after years of consorting with organized crime types, he is set on finding a legitimate job and making a go of it as a functional member of society. He will fail miserably. As a new trilogy begins, Johnny is off to join the world of real estate. ...

Dead and Breakfast

The Big Easy has plenty of song… …a lot of dancing and a bit of murder. Will Brandy be able to prove her friend is innocent? Brandy learned to be loyal in Catholic school. She doesn’t judge. When her best friend, Julia, an ex-stripper turned hotelier, finds the first guest of her new Bed and ...

Johnny Books: The Complete Organized Crime Trilogy

Johnny Books 1-3 make up The Organized Crime Trilogy. Johnny Tee is a wandering vagabond with a troubled past and an even bleaker future. His decision to go the straight and narrow goes haywire when he gets mixed up in the city's dirty underbelly. Coming out on top is going to be tougher than he thi ...

Revenge is a Dish Best Served With Eggnog: A Cozy Paranormal Mystery

In the quaint, twinkling town of Christmas Hills, Destiny Mellowes is just about finished with wrapping the last present of the day. When a charming stranger named Carson walks into the modest gift shop owned by her parents and asks for directions to the nearby resort, Destiny has no idea her hol ...

Fun Stories Greatest Hits: Silly Short Stories, Dad Jokes, Puns, and Real-Life Humor

Amazon reviewers call Fun Stories Greatest Hits "the type of silly we all need!" Author R. Scott Murphy has honed his zingers and tongue-in-cheek observations of life as a writer for David Letterman’s Late Show, as a radio DJ, and as a TV host. Now, for the first time, Murphy's best-loved bits are ...

3mph: The Adventures of One Woman's Walk Around the World

Polly Letofsky left her Colorado home and headed west across 4 continents and over 14,000 miles--by foot--to become the first woman to walk around the world. In a spirit of adventure, along with the goal of raising global awareness for breast cancer, strangers welcomed her into their homes. The w ...

Christmas Grift

A corpse, a cantankerous camel, an entertaining array of suspects, and a yule tide of problems along the way…it must be a Flo and Agnes Christmas! Who would have guessed Agnes would rub Penelope the cranky camel the wrong way? Or that Flo would find herself ankle deep in camel dung while fending off ...

Hexed in Texas: A Humorous Fantasy

The Faux Fang Murders

Carnivorous garden gnomes or mutant sewer monsters. Nothing is too weird for intrepid paranormal reporter Aurora North. Especially as she usually finds the logical, and deeply unparanormal, explanation for it all. When her editor asks her to check out an alleged vampire attack, Aurora is absolutely ...

LOST: The Time Travel Romance That Started It All

(Warning: Do not read this book if you don't understand parody or humor. This is NOT a romance story!) Enjoy the fun, free-style introduction to several very colorful characters from The Fairies Saga and Arlie Undercover series and find out how they’re involved with LOST: the 18th-century time tr ...

‘Tis the Season to Feel Inadequate, Holidays, Special Occasions and Other Times Our Celebrations Get Out of Hand

It’s the American way to create a celebration for everything, then turn it into a chore or worse, a nightmare. ’Tis the Season to Feel Inadequate is a collection of humorous essays about how we let our expectations steal the joy out of Christmas and other holidays and special events. It’s understand ...

The Postman Always Dies Twice

Postmen. Poltergeists. Poteen. When former San Francisco cop, Maggie Doyle, extends her stay in Ireland, dealing with more murder and mayhem isn’t on her to-do list. The instant Maggie and her UFO-enthusiast friend discover the dead body of the Whisper Island postman, Maggie’s plans to chill for the ...

A DANGEROUS HARBOR

A lovely American detective's idyllic sail to Mexico ends when she comes face to face with her unfortunate past. But what is unfortunate for Detective Katy Hunter is just the ticket a handsome Latin investigator needs to solve a murder involving a rich, and cartel connected, American yachtsman. The ...

Johnny Vegas

With $120 dollars in his pocket and his life back on track, Johnny heads out to the one place in the world where absolutely nothing can go wrong: Las Vegas. It isn't long before the good-hearted Johnny is involved with the city's most dangerous criminals. The clock is running and the race is on. Joh ...

Royal Street Dogs

With their world destroyed and their space ship malfunctioning, the royal dogizens of Planet Canid have little choice but to crash land on Earth--in the midst of Aunt Maddie's eccentric family planning a Christmas wedding for former playboy, Ryan Madison, and elfenchaun, Dori. After rescuing the Roy ...

A Merry Christmas Ceilidh

It's their first winter holiday together on the Shrouded Isle… American widow Becca, her two daughters, and her Scottish boyfriend, Greg, are looking forward to celebrating. But trouble comes… As an elf on the shelf moves of its own volition, a snowman attracts too much attention, and an elderly nei ...

If You See Kay Freeze

What's an elf to do? Ladies, ready for another giggle-snort filled mystery? Darn that Nicky Stromboli! He’s the reason BJ has to get a job moonlighting as a winter elf. She swears that the glitter-tights that come with her costume were designed by the devil himself as a torture device. Lucky for BJ, ...

Romantic As Hell - Tales of Woe, Tips of Woo: An Illustrated Guide for the Romantically Challenged

FINALIST - 2016 IAN Book of the Year Awards From the bestselling author of Things Go Wrong for Me and Perhaps I've Said Too Much... In this hilarious, heartfelt and surprisingly useful book, bestselling humor author and comedian Rodney Lacroix opens up about his failed romantic endeavors and - more ...

A DEAD RED GAMBLE

#6 in the Dead Red Mystery series Like Janet Evanovich? Sue Grafton? You’ll love this humorous mystery series! What if building a case against corruption gets you killed? On track to a successful political career, a charismatic young judge’s detour into corruption will uncover the scandalous truth o ...

Beyond Dead

Bridget Sway is newly dead. And confused. Instead of cloud cars and harp-playing cherubs, the afterlife is working a full-time job that doesn’t pay and a heinous communal living situation with housemates who have no concept of privacy or personal space. As if that wasn’t bad enough, on her first ...

Reality Bites Back

”Your dreams and crushed, goodbye!” Daniel North is forced back into the world of Reality TV when one of his former competitors is murdered. Now considered a “celebrity” Daniel must battle against an old adversary and face the music – literally! Celebrity Tone Death sees a bunch of Z-listers take a ...

Just Add Water (Hetta Coffey Series, Book 1)

HETTA COFFEY IS A SASSY TEXAN WITH A SNAZZY YACHT, AND SHE'S NOT AFRAID TO USE IT! Just Add Water, winner of the National EPPIE Award for BEST MYSTERY. Hetta Coffey is a globe-trotting civil engineer with a swath of failed multi-national affairs in her jet stream. Plying the San Francisco waterfront ...

Pillow Stalk

Interior Decorator Madison Night might look like a throwback to the sixties, but as business owner and landlord, she proves that independent women can have it all. But when a killer targets women dressed in her signature style—estate sale vintage to play up her resemblance to fave actress Dori ...

Seduction of Crowns

A boy-band heart throb. A violent kidnap. A female cop’s daring rescue. A spark to fire the passion of love.

When Sergeant Sophia Castellana stumbles into an international terrorist attack, things are not as they seem. Global forces beyond her grasp sweep her up into an a ...