WAYNE HAWKINS THE REALM

The Malfoys fight Wayne Hawkins and the resistance. At times the wizards prevail. Then the resistance wins in the end. 

Chief Sitting Moose (the bonus story) is about a band of American natives taking over a saloon in the wild west. It's a humorous tale about the chief and his men fightin ...

A Dame Called Derek

Charlie's marriage has hit rock bottom and his bed is a lonely place. He tries his hand at erotica but will his writing light his wife’s fire or douse it out for good? Charlie’s story has her laughing into her morning latte. Charlies is a house husband and in her eyes his talents remain with past ...

What the Cluck? It's Murder

Pet psychic Frankie Chandler finally (and reluctantly) agrees to meet Detective Martin Bower’s family. All she has to do is impress the pack of sisters who raised him. Not difficult, right? The only thing at stake is her relationship with the man she loves. The weekend at his eldest sibling’s fa ...

Careful-ish

Ready to laugh with six new friends who'll make you feel better about your own choices? The Joy (yes, that’s what she calls herself) is the crazy glue that’s holding this group of reprobates together. When lockdown hits, she insists on maintaining their weekly happy hour. She also insists that getti ...

Fore Play

"A company of spineless, scheming men try to gouge a California country club for every penny it's worth in Sheehan's seamy, steamy comedy of errors." -Kirkus Reviews

"Good book, great read! Laughs, sex, golf, and good wine. What more could you want?" -Danny Jacobson, Creator and Executive ...

Sick to Death

Knowing you're dying can be murder. When Gage Adder finds out he has inoperable pancreatic cancer, things really start to look up for him. He leaves his soul-crushing job, joins a nice terminal illness support group, and takes up an exciting new hobby: Serial killing.

Death in the Cafe

A brand new female vicar. An accident-prone nun. Two friends. Two killings. Annabelle and Mary are best friends. But when one gets framed for murder, can the other one save her? Assigned to St. Clement's Church in an inner-city borough just outside Hackney in London, Reverend Annabelle Dixon brings ...

Death By Corporate America

This faceless corporate worker bee has had enough...and there's murder on her mind... After years of climbing the corporate ladder to achieve her ultimate goal---elite C-suite status---Adrian Banner has finally made it to the top of the morally corrupt mega-corporation she works for. Or so she think ...

First Friday: How virginity almost killed me

This tale of Agnes Anne O’Neil, a 28 year-old virgin who struggles to leave home, will both captivate and tickle your funny bone. You’ll meet her wacky Irish Catholic family, her favorite saints and pet snail, and the evil that pursues her. You’ll chuckle when she introduces her Je ...

‘Tis the Season to Feel Inadequate, Holidays, Special Occasions and Other Times Our Celebrations Get Out of Hand

It’s the American way to create a celebration for everything, then turn it into a chore or worse, a nightmare. ’Tis the Season to Feel Inadequate is a collection of humorous essays about how we let our expectations steal the joy out of Christmas and other holidays and special events. It’s understand ...

Some Like It Shot

“Danger was part of my job description, but none of my contingency plans anticipated an attack by a Maine Coon.” It’s summer on Whisper Island. Ex-cop-turned-private-investigator Maggie Doyle is looking forward to sun, fun, and romance. Instead, she gets bills, an assault allegation, and a busted wr ...

Cheese Tarts & Fluffy Socks

Cheese Tarts and Fluffy Socks: Complex, Enthralling Romance Novel Proves Sex & Work is a Cocktail Best Left Unshaken The most recent in a long line of celebrated romance novels from Nikki Ashton, ‘Cheese Tarts and Fluffy Socks’ zeroes in on a steamy one-night stand that, unknown to e ...

Grave in the Garage

A lifeless hand rises ghost-like from a car mechanic's pit. Who does it belong to? And what happened? Annabelle and DI Nicholls set out to solve the murder, but find themselves wrapped up in not one, but three different mysteries. A puppy helps, too.

Revenge is a Dish Best Served With Eggnog: A Cozy Paranormal Mystery

In the quaint, twinkling town of Christmas Hills, Destiny Mellowes is just about finished with wrapping the last present of the day. When a charming stranger named Carson walks into the modest gift shop owned by her parents and asks for directions to the nearby resort, Destiny has no idea her hol ...

There's Something About Gary

“A hilarious, mile-a-minute ride! Amazon Reviewer Getting Ahead Ain’t Easy There’s a fine line between quirky and crazy. How do you know when you’ve crossed it? Everybody’s got their coping mechanisms. Val Fremden is no exception. But when her longtime boyfriend Tom Foreman takes off witho ...

Bride of Careful-ish

If your wedding venue cancels your wedding but keeps your deposit, and your parents continue badmouthing your fiancée, who keeps jabbing at you about your weight, would you think the universe was trying to tell you something?

Kimi sure does. Her friends disagree. But why do they get a say? For ...

Call Me Pomeroy

Pomeroy, a towering street musician on parole, is out of the clink for the umpteenth time and wants to become a rock star. With fame and fortune in mind, he heads to Occupy Oakland, hoping to get on television, attract an agent, and score a million dollar contract for Ants in My Pants, his marathon ...

The Fall of Baby Hitler: Sometimes Evil Wears a Diaper

Bobert McGee is just a regular guy. Anonymous in his job and his life, Bobert's singular obsession is to make a difference in the world. He wants to be noticed. He wants to be famous. He wants to matter. Bobert's desires come true when he stumbles across a time machine for sale on an Internet shoppi ...

Celebrity sTalker

I stumble upon celebrities all over Los Angeles and HAVE to talk to them. Sometimes this works out. Mostly it doesn't.

Collar Cases #2: Case of the Missing Monet

A field trip to the local art museum with Mittens's rambunctious nieces takes an unexpected turn when a priceless Monet painting is stolen! With their reputations on the line, the museum leadership desperately turns to Mittens and Alex for help. Will the detectives see past the deception around them ...

Spoonful Chronicles

Thaniya Rasid grew up in the Middle East dreaming of becoming a surgeon. Now living an ordinary life as a mother, wife and a hospital lab tech in Vancouver, Canada, she garners unexpected fame as youTube’s Queen of Hummus when her video demonstrating the recipe goes viral. How could blending c ...

3mph: The Adventures of One Woman's Walk Around the World

Polly Letofsky left her Colorado home and headed west across 4 continents and over 14,000 miles--by foot--to become the first woman to walk around the world. In a spirit of adventure, along with the goal of raising global awareness for breast cancer, strangers welcomed her into their homes. The w ...

Reckless Traveler

Reckless Traveler: an autobiographical novel of adventuring in South America, sure to delight anyone with a passport. Perú and beyond: Through the alchemy of travel, youthful folly may bring disaster or wisdom . . . and more. The instructional travel guide for aspiring backpackers: learn how ...

Diners, Dives and Dead Ends

As a struggling waitress and part-time college student, Rose Strickland’s life is stalled in the slow lane. But when her close friend, Axton, disappears, Rose suddenly finds herself serving up more than hot coffee and flapjacks. Now she’s hashing it out with sexy bad guys and scrambling ...

A DEAD RED HEART

#2 in the Dead Red mystery series When a troubled, homeless veteran covers her vintage Cadillac with paper snowflakes, Lalla Bains decides a showdown is needed. Unfortunately, she arrives too late for that conversation---he’s lying in a pool of blood, stabbed with his own scissors. But someone is ...

A DEAD RED ALIBI

When Lalla and her dad take a trip to Arizona to inspect her new property, Dad disappears. Panicked that he's lost in the desert, Lalla enlists the help of a local tracker and finds him unharmed at the bottom of a mine pit. But dad has company. A very dead local police chief. And within a stone's t ...

The Finger Trap

Tony Flaner is a malingering part-time comedian, full-time sarcastic, who’s never had it hard, and never finished a thing in his life. He’s had twelve years to prepare for his divorce and didn’t. He had his entire life to choose a career and hasn’t. Now time’s up, and he’s in a world of trouble. But ...

Space Junk: Houston, We Have a Hottie

NASA engineer Dr. Jackie Darling Lee is a genius about many things... the male species is not one of them (despite the many cowboy romances she reads). Then a little friendly blackmail from a co-worker has Jackie walking into a Texas saloon ready to initiate Operation Social Life. After making fr ...

Roman's Having Sex Again

"OMG, if ever a book deserved more than 5 stars it’s this cracker. Outstanding, laugh out loud, panty melting goodness all wrapped up in one heartfelt package!"

"Romans having sex again is an hilarious romance of the best kind , witty, sharp and unexpectedly ...

The Alchemy of Happiness

The Alchemy of Happiness follows Aloysius Williams and his adventures in search of the meaning and practice of happiness. This satire on religion, culture and prejudice will challenge the history buffs and delight all lovers of tall-tales and happy endings.

The Case of the Not-So-Fair Trader ( A Richard Sherlock Whodunit book 1)

A despicable stock trader is found buried under an avalanche of his own garden rocks, causing fired-from-the force- Richard Sherlock to be yanked off the bowling alley and whisked to the crime scene by his pampered protegee Tiffany Richmond. He must prove murder and stop payment of the twelve-millio ...

A BIrd's Eye View of Murder

If life is a bowl of cherries, Frankie Chandler is stuck with the pits. Her new animal behavior business is a dud, the two men who were attracted to her now consider her as appealing as a plague victim, and her assertive Aunt Gertrude is in town with plans to drag her to the premiere of The Baking C ...

Powerballs: Be careful what you wish for.

"A lively beach or commute read, this quick, cheerful parody of aging, capitalism, and marriage offers a little bit of everything--comedy, suspense, romance--and even some insights into the meaning of life."
-Booklife by Publishers Weekly
 
...

Blame it on Bigfoot

At times funny, at times frightening--a fast-paced thriller... When Sheriff Jeff McQuede's friend, Barry Dawson, tricks him into attending a Bigfoot convention at the small town of Trails' End, he finds the adventure is only beginning. He is soon invited by the head of the research team, Dr. Adam ...

Fun Stories Greatest Hits: Silly Short Stories, Dad Jokes, Puns, and Real-Life Humor

Amazon reviewers call Fun Stories Greatest Hits "the type of silly we all need!" Author R. Scott Murphy has honed his zingers and tongue-in-cheek observations of life as a writer for David Letterman’s Late Show, as a radio DJ, and as a TV host. Now, for the first time, Murphy's best-loved bits are ...

Poetry and Pyres

Magical mayhem ensues when the Shaw family celebrates two new-to-them Scottish holidays in Poetry and Pyres, a Shrouded Isle novelette featuring Becca’s daughter, Jessie. During Robert Burns Night, An unexpected guest comes to the honored poet’s party. The meal goes awry through no fault of the ...

Power Pup #1: Power Pup vs. Tommy Trigger Finger

Calvin Quinn is a long way from the corn fields of Nebraska. The rookie canine journalist is eager to start a new life in the metropolitan city of Bowwow. He dreams of busting bad guys with front page headlines alongside Bowwow's famous investigative journalist team, Mittens Meow and Alex Digger. Bu ...

Amusing Musings

Warning: This book may be a choking hazard if read while eating or drinking. If you’re a fan of Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey, then you’re going to love Amusing Musings. Get ready to enjoy the most hilarious book of the year. This hysterical compilation of profound thoughts and hilarious one liners w ...

Southlea Bay (3 Book Series)

From Book 1:Librarian Janet Johnson is puzzled when she is invitedand practically draggedto her first meeting of the Rejected Writers Book Club. This quirky group of women would much rather celebrate one anothers rejected manuscripts over cups of tea and slices of lemon cake than actually publish a ...

A Scaly Tail of Murder

Frankie Chandler is finally at peace with her life. She’s engaged to Detective Martin Bowers, her pet psychic business is booming, and she’s overcome the emotional residue of a past relationship that destroyed her self-respect. Just when everything’s going swell, trouble strolls through her front ...

The Swines: Anecdotes Of A Piggly Family

“Eclectic, eccentric, and original. Fast-paced. Absurd. Whimsical.” ─ Suidae Gazette
“Cheeky, original, and witty. Wickedly fun!” ─ Bacon Daily News
“Politically incorrect. Genius!” ─ Young Hogs


Whimsical and light-hearted, The Swines is the curious ...

A DEAD RED MIRACLE

#5 in THE DEAD RED MYSTERY SERIES Like Janet Evanovich? Sue Grafton? You’ll love this humorous mystery series! Your dirt-bag boss is murdered, what a relief, right? Until his killer lets you know a list you don’t have means you’re next. Thinking to jump start their careers as private inve ...

Rocky Mountain Diner (Free Novella)

After losing their father and learning local mob boss Caruso wants to collect on their dad’s old gambling debts, Dahlia and Minerva hightail it out of Chicago on a hilarious and sometimes scary journey west. Accompany them on their adventure and be right beside them as they unexpectedly find new fri ...

Aerobics Can Be Deadly (Bucket List Mysteries 1)

When this odd couple signs up to be extras in a fitness video, it’s lights, camera… murder. Sho Tanaka is desperate for normalcy. Uncomfortably getting by in a tiny Texas town after prescription drugs cost him his job, the last thing the disgraced nurse needs is a former tween TV star roping him int ...

Murder & Moonshine

Moonshine Girls Davie Carter, Fenn Everhart, and Daisy Mae Harper met over moonshine and have been friends ever since. They'd planned on distilling, transporting, and selling illegal hooch but keep stumbling over crimes and solving mysteries.

Murder in the Moonlig ...

Mommy Tried to Kill Me

The true story of the four months I spent in Paris, France taking care of my Mom and trying not to have a nervous breakdown, mainly because I didn't know the French word for it.

Reality Bites Back Again

“You’ve been cancelled!” Daniel North, now the most famous man in Britain, is navigating the fickle world of celebrity. It’s a daily battle as he opens his DMs – is it another unsolicited nude, or a request for him to kill himself? There’s no grey area with the Reality TV fandom, and he’s reluctantl ...

A DEAD RED GAMBLE

#6 in the Dead Red Mystery series Like Janet Evanovich? Sue Grafton? You’ll love this humorous mystery series! What if building a case against corruption gets you killed? On track to a successful political career, a charismatic young judge’s detour into corruption will uncover the scandalous truth o ...

The Rejected Writers Christmas Wedding

Southlea Bay's favorite sweethearts, Flora and Dan, are getting married and the members of the Rejected Writers' Book Club are excited to help. Especially the group's head honcho, Doris Newberry, who, much to Flora’s frustration, wants to control every detail, attempting to strong-arm Flora into acc ...

Green Sunday

When TJ, a fat neckbeard small time youtuber living with his mom met a strange girl in his one note town, he thought his luck was changing. What he didn’t know, on her heels, a deepweb gameshow bent on bringing his hick mountain town to its knees, just for sport.

Unleashing flesh hungry z ...

Romantic As Hell - Tales of Woe, Tips of Woo: An Illustrated Guide for the Romantically Challenged

FINALIST - 2016 IAN Book of the Year Awards From the bestselling author of Things Go Wrong for Me and Perhaps I've Said Too Much... In this hilarious, heartfelt and surprisingly useful book, bestselling humor author and comedian Rodney Lacroix opens up about his failed romantic endeavors and - more ...

Point Blank: A Short Tale of Macabre Family Faults

If you can't stand the pressure... ask your mother to stop pointing the gun at your head. Steven is a writer, by all accounts of self-proclamation. But no artist can be expected to work under serious pressure, especially not when the pressure consists of his own mother indenting his tender skull wit ...

Almost Heroes

High school senior Santana Harris' parents want her to go to college, to prepare for her future, or---at the very least---to get a job so that she can figure out what life after high school will look like. Santana doesn't want any of that. Convinced that her art will allow her to win a scholarship t ...

Murder on a Moon Trek

Sylvia Stryker has no business being on the next Moon Unit Cruise Line, unless you count aspirations and dreams. The career that once felt within her reach—Intergalactic Cruise Ship Security—disappeared the day her dad was arrested for collusion with space pirates. Since then she’s begrudgingly been ...

My Life in Ladies' Knickers

Another outrageous full-length comedy satire novel from Oscar Sparrow. 

Mustard's Last Stand, A Havoc in Hancock Humorous Suspense

An African safari camp in North Idaho? Won’t happen, not if offbeat eco-activist Roadkill can convince his more sedate brother to help fight the fanatical developer of the canned hunt. Together they brave captive zebras and wildebeests and face down the wannabe big game hunter and his wacky minio ...

Jagdlied: a Chamber Novel for Narrator, Musicians, Pantomimists, Dancers & Culinary Artists

WARNING to prospective readers as to this title’s potentially shocking and disturbing (read: X-RATED!!!) graphic and literary content: A reviewer at LITERARY TITAN, tho ...

St. Batzy & the Time Machine

After all the years they had been married, Maddie Ainsworth's presence still had the ability to discombobulate Horace. She was as tall as his own six feet--the reason they saw eye-to-eye on most things, they joked. To Horace, she was more beautiful than when they met thirty-some years ago. Maddie lo ...

A DEAD RED CADILLAC

#1 in THE DEAD RED MYSTERY SERIES Like Janet Evanovich? Sue Grafton? You’ll love this humorous mystery series! Deeply buried and deadly secrets resurface with a drowned Cadillac Her trophy red Caddy has been hijacked and now police ask how an elderly woman, who couldn’t possibly see beyond the hood ...

Aunt Maddie's Farm

When a sleuthing witch leaves her unique "wee beasties" with eccentric artist, Aunt Maddie, rib-tickling chaos is bound to happen. With the elven-looking witch undercover to help solve the mystery of unusual deaths at a local nursing facility, her street-wise sidekick, Sadie Justice, may have met ...

A Merry Christmas Ceilidh

It's their first winter holiday together on the Shrouded Isle… American widow Becca, her two daughters, and her Scottish boyfriend, Greg, are looking forward to celebrating. But trouble comes… As an elf on the shelf moves of its own volition, a snowman attracts too much attention, and an elderly nei ...

Rebel Without a Claus

Makeup. Mannequins. Murder. When ex-cop-turned-P.I. Maggie Doyle scores a lucrative undercover job at the makeup counter at a fashionable Galway department store, she expects discounted lipstick and an easy paycheck. After an altercation with a customer leads to a dead body in Maggie’s bathtub, she ...

Fame Is A Killer

Hollywood actress Hope Hadley doesn't think that things can get any worse for her. In the last twenty-four hours, her boyfriend has broken up with her and her long-running police procedural TV show has been canceled.  ...

IMMORTALITY BYTES: Digital Minds Don't Get Hungry

Anyone But the Billionaire

Self-made mogul Chase Moore is a charming hound dog with a hairless cat and a family business to save. He was fine being the spare to the heir until the family's billion-dollar business threatens to go belly-up. Now Chase will need more than his rakish good looks to fight his father for contro ...

How To Murder a Millionaire

Murder. Millionaires. Mankinis. Armed with her newly issued private investigator's license, Maggie Doyle is on the case…of a sheep that went missing twenty-two years ago. When she trips over a dead body on the first day of the investigation, Maggie realizes there’s more to this cold case t ...

Dose Vidanya

Silver Hills Senior and Singles Residence isn’t exactly a boring place. Home to a death predicting cat named Tolstoy, a night manager who may or may not suck blood and float above the floor, a cook with mad voodoo and pie baking powers, and a trio of nosy sleuths who are determined to get to the ...

Golden Monkey

Little Lance Pototschnik wanted to grow up and play pro football, but that pipe dream got smoked by his lethargic growth hormones and a terrible skin disorder. The death of his childhood aspirations did, however, plant the seeds for Lance to find comedy in rejection and suffering. In this gaspingly ...

The Faux Fang Murders

Carnivorous garden gnomes or mutant sewer monsters. Nothing is too weird for intrepid paranormal reporter Aurora North. Especially as she usually finds the logical, and deeply unparanormal, explanation for it all. When her editor asks her to check out an alleged vampire attack, Aurora is absolutely ...

Johnny Zookeeper

Johnny continues his quest to find a spot in the working world and thinks he has finally found the solution: clientele who are in cages and verbally refuse his service. But when Johnny is given more responsibility than he should have, the animals, the customers, and the entire city are in for trou ...

Beyond Dead

Bridget Sway is newly dead. And confused. Instead of cloud cars and harp-playing cherubs, the afterlife is working a full-time job that doesn’t pay and a heinous communal living situation with housemates who have no concept of privacy or personal space. As if that wasn’t bad enough, on her first ...

An Almost Purrfect Murder

When Frankie Chandler boards an Alaskan cruise ship, she’s hardly a cheerful advertisement for sailing the ocean blue. Her best (and only) friend is getting married, which means the end of impromptu girl’s nights. Her only consolation is the all-night buffet, but even that can’t make up for the body ...

A Not So Rustic Retreat

If there’s one thing more dangerous than fireworks, it’s dating.

Note to self: Lying facedown on the floor while my vacation home gets ransacked isn’t romantic. That break-in wrecked our simple lunch. Definitely not the date I had in mind.

My only reason for spend ...

DANG NEAR DEAD #2, Award-winning Aggie Mundeen Mysteries4-book

PLEASE NOTE: Only the first 10 requesters will receive free books. BUT: Amazon has the 4-book AGGIE MUNDEEN series on sale for $8.97 at http://tinyurl.com/AggieMundeen. In DANG NEAR DEAD, Aggie, Detective Sam (traveling incognito) and friend Meredith vacation at a dude ranch, a prickly destinatio ...

Death By Baguette: A Valentine’s Day Murder in Paris

Paris – the city of love, lights… and murder? Join tour guide Lana Hansen as she escorts five couples on an unforgettable Valentine-themed vacation to France! Unfortunately it will be the last trip for one passenger… Lana Hansen’s future is looking bright. She has money in her bank account, a babysi ...

Just Add Water (Hetta Coffey Series, Book 1)

HETTA COFFEY IS A SASSY TEXAN WITH A SNAZZY YACHT, AND SHE'S NOT AFRAID TO USE IT! Just Add Water, winner of the National EPPIE Award for BEST MYSTERY. Hetta Coffey is a globe-trotting civil engineer with a swath of failed multi-national affairs in her jet stream. Plying the San Francisco waterfront ...

Hollywood Ending

The 2008 recession hits. The US economy goes belly-up and sentences a young generation to wayward lives. With nothing to lose, Lance Pototschnik and his best friend, Jackson Greenly, decide to go for their artist dreams. Lance begins a grassroots initiative to sell an original screenplay to Hollywoo ...

The Cover Up

What links a webcam girl, a cross-dressing police chief and an escaped ferret? A British nation torn by Brexit staggers on. Frankie Ferret, a pre-school children’s TV celebrity escapes into sewers of London and surely is dead. The people unite in grief. Police Chiefs, counselors and politicos stand ...

Dead Man's Trench

DISCOVER THIS SIZZLING SERIES OF COZY MYSTERIES SET IN THE SWEEPING LANDSCAPE OF NORFOLK. A man lies dead, deep in an excavation trench, an angry villager's signature on a damming piece of evidence, and a race against time to discover the truth. When the corpse of a hated local man is discovered, sm ...

Guppy Butter

Cute for kids, a bit twisted and funny for adults! A Guppy??

But I wanted a Puppy! Guppy Butter is the darkly humorous tale of a young girl's wish for a puppy, but who ends up getting a Guppy instead.

She tries her best to meet her father's demands that if she can keep a fish aliv ...

Tangled Up In Tuesday: A Page Turners Novel

Organized accountant Zoey Allen likes her life neat and tidy. But it goes from managed to messy when a dead body ends up in her apartment on an ordinary Tuesday night. After uncovering a money-laundering scheme in a routine audit at her company, Zoey finds herself the target in a murderous plot that ...