Silver Hills Senior and Singles Residence isn’t exactly a boring place. Home to a death predicting cat named Tolstoy, a night manager who may or may not suck blood and float above the floor, a cook with mad voodoo and pie baking powers, and a trio of nosy sleuths who are determined to get to the ...
Southlea Bay's favorite sweethearts, Flora and Dan, are getting married and the members of the Rejected Writers' Book Club are excited to help. Especially the group's head honcho, Doris Newberry, who, much to Flora’s frustration, wants to control every detail, attempting to strong-arm Flora into ...
From Book 1:Librarian Janet Johnson is puzzled when she is invitedand practically draggedto her first meeting of the Rejected Writers Book Club. This quirky group of women would much rather celebrate one anothers rejected manuscripts over cups of tea and slices of lemon cake than actually publish a ...
After all the years they had been married, Maddie Ainsworth's presence still had the ability to discombobulate Horace. She was as tall as his own six feet--the reason they saw eye-to-eye on most things, they joked. To Horace, she was more beautiful than when they met thirty-some years ago. Maddie lo ...
Warning: This book may be a choking hazard if read while eating or drinking. If you’re a fan of Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey, then you’re going to love Amusing Musings. Get ready to enjoy the most hilarious book of the year. This hysterical compilation of profound thoughts and hilarious one liners w ...
Little Lance Pototschnik wanted to grow up and play pro football, but that pipe dream got smoked by his lethargic growth hormones and a terrible skin disorder. The death of his childhood aspirations did, however, plant the seeds for Lance to find comedy in rejection and suffering. In this gaspingly ...
WARNING to prospective readers as to this title’s potentially shocking and disturbing (read: X-RATED!!!) graphic and literary content: A reviewer at LITERARY TITAN, tho ...
Ever since Scharlette’s parents gave her a name no one can really pronounce, she’s been stuck in a bit of a rut. She hates her job in airport security, making people take their belts off before they fly to exotic locations she can only dream about. She owns a small apartment with large repayments, d ...
An African safari camp in North Idaho? Won’t happen, not if offbeat eco-activist Roadkill can convince his more sedate brother to help fight the fanatical developer of the canned hunt. Together they brave captive zebras and wildebeests and face down the wannabe big game hunter and his wacky minio ...
High school senior Santana Harris' parents want her to go to college, to prepare for her future, or---at the very least---to get a job so that she can figure out what life after high school will look like. Santana doesn't want any of that. Convinced that her art will allow her to win a scholarship t ...
If there’s one thing more dangerous than fireworks, it’s dating.
Note to self: Lying facedown on the floor while my vacation home gets ransacked isn’t romantic. That break-in wrecked our simple lunch. Definitely not the date I had in mind.
My only reason for spend ...
This tale of Agnes Anne O’Neil, a 28 year-old virgin who struggles to leave home, will both captivate and tickle your funny bone. You’ll meet her wacky Irish Catholic family, her favorite saints and pet snail, and the evil that pursues her. You’ll chuckle when she introduces her Je ...
There's a prankster in all of us. Whether you're carving evil messages into your coworker's banana peel or telling your kids that, yes, raisins are actually dehydrated people, there's a certain, sinister-yet-fun draw to really messing with people. In Perhaps I’ve Said Too Much (the much antici ...
Cheese Tarts and Fluffy Socks: Complex, Enthralling Romance Novel Proves Sex & Work is a Cocktail Best Left Unshaken The most recent in a long line of celebrated romance novels from Nikki Ashton, ‘Cheese Tarts and Fluffy Socks’ zeroes in on a steamy one-night stand that, unknown to e ...
A field trip to the local art museum with Mittens's rambunctious nieces takes an unexpected turn when a priceless Monet painting is stolen! With their reputations on the line, the museum leadership desperately turns to Mittens and Alex for help. Will the detectives see past the deception around them ...
Carnivorous garden gnomes or mutant sewer monsters. Nothing is too weird for intrepid paranormal reporter Aurora North. Especially as she usually finds the logical, and deeply unparanormal, explanation for it all. When her editor asks her to check out an alleged vampire attack, Aurora is absolutely ...
When the love of her life died suddenly, Daphne Madison retreated to the innocent age of the 1950s when all a girl had to worry about was keeping her bobby socks and the pompom on her poodle skirt a brilliant white. With years of support from her loving and zany family, Daphne finally found a bit ...
“Eclectic, eccentric, and original. Fast-paced. Absurd. Whimsical.” ─ Suidae Gazette
“Cheeky, original, and witty. Wickedly fun!” ─ Bacon Daily News
“Politically incorrect. Genius!” ─ Young Hogs
Whimsical and light-hearted, The Swines is the curious ...
A brand new female vicar. An accident-prone nun. Two friends. Two killings. Annabelle and Mary are best friends. But when one gets framed for murder, can the other one save her? Assigned to St. Clement's Church in an inner-city borough just outside Hackney in London, Reverend Annabelle Dixon brings ...
Interior Decorator Madison Night might look like a throwback to the sixties, but as business owner and landlord, she proves that independent women can have it all. But when a killer targets women dressed in her signature style—estate sale vintage to play up her resemblance to fave actress Dori ...
#3 in THE DEAD RED MYSTERY SERIES "Janet Evanovich meets aero-ag pilots." The Kindle Book Review What if quitting your boring job put you in line for murder? Her beloved great aunt wants to bar-b-que dad's side-kick, Bruce the goat, and her man-hungry cousin has her sights set on her number one pilo ...
It’s the American way to create a celebration for everything, then turn it into a chore or worse, a nightmare. ’Tis the Season to Feel Inadequate is a collection of humorous essays about how we let our expectations steal the joy out of Christmas and other holidays and special events. It’s understand ...
This faceless corporate worker bee has had enough...and there's murder on her mind... After years of climbing the corporate ladder to achieve her ultimate goal---elite C-suite status---Adrian Banner has finally made it to the top of the morally corrupt mega-corporation she works for. Or so she think ...
What's an elf to do? Ladies, ready for another giggle-snort filled mystery? Darn that Nicky Stromboli! He’s the reason BJ has to get a job moonlighting as a winter elf. She swears that the glitter-tights that come with her costume were designed by the devil himself as a torture device. Lucky for BJ, ...
The Alchemy of Happiness follows Aloysius Williams and his adventures in search of the meaning and practice of happiness. This satire on religion, culture and prejudice will challenge the history buffs and delight all lovers of tall-tales and happy endings.
March lst is Mardi Gras in New Orleans....and free today, is RESCUED BY A KISS. All the fun of Mardi Gras—without the hangover! A Mardi Gras kiss launches a manhunt to find a victim shot with the help of some quirky characters in a city that knows how to have a good time. One kiss and her world turn ...
Johnny Books 1-3 make up The Organized Crime Trilogy. Johnny Tee is a wandering vagabond with a troubled past and an even bleaker future. His decision to go the straight and narrow goes haywire when he gets mixed up in the city's dirty underbelly. Coming out on top is going to be tougher than he thi ...
FINALIST - 2016 IAN Book of the Year Awards From the bestselling author of Things Go Wrong for Me and Perhaps I've Said Too Much... In this hilarious, heartfelt and surprisingly useful book, bestselling humor author and comedian Rodney Lacroix opens up about his failed romantic endeavors and - more ...
Thomas Gephardt is a world traveller. Or at least he would like to be one. Determined to leave the confines of his sheltered upbringing in the United States, he voyages to France to expand his horizons. He spends three months with a French family in Bordeaux, working in a local hotel. Inspired by th ...
BE THE FIRST TO READ ANNIVERSARY EDITION OF GRADE A STUPID! Stephanie Plum meets Veronica Mars meets The Blacklist in this #1 Amazon Bestseller in Teens Mysteries & Thrillers, Spies and Detective Stories. Darcy Walker is a 15-year-old girl without purpose--pretty but disheveled, clever but direc ...
In the quaint, twinkling town of Christmas Hills, Destiny Mellowes is just about finished with wrapping the last present of the day. When a charming stranger named Carson walks into the modest gift shop owned by her parents and asks for directions to the nearby resort, Destiny has no idea her hol ...
Amazon reviewers call Fun Stories Greatest Hits "the type of silly we all need!" Author R. Scott Murphy has honed his zingers and tongue-in-cheek observations of life as a writer for David Letterman’s Late Show, as a radio DJ, and as a TV host. Now, for the first time, Murphy's best-loved bits are ...
Reckless Traveler: an autobiographical novel of adventuring in South America, sure to delight anyone with a passport. Perú and beyond: Through the alchemy of travel, youthful folly may bring disaster or wisdom . . . and more. The instructional travel guide for aspiring backpackers: learn how ...
When it’s your 10th year of fundraising for charity it’s hard to find a new idea. The women come up with a scheme to benefit the local hospice but it goes way past their comfort zone. Can they, should they, go ahead? Then there’s the matter of the Board of Trustees – men who are bound to op ...
A despicable stock trader is found buried under an avalanche of his own garden rocks, causing fired-from-the force- Richard Sherlock to be yanked off the bowling alley and whisked to the crime scene by his pampered protegee Tiffany Richmond. He must prove murder and stop payment of the twelve-millio ...
#6 in the Dead Red Mystery series Like Janet Evanovich? Sue Grafton? You’ll love this humorous mystery series! What if building a case against corruption gets you killed? On track to a successful political career, a charismatic young judge’s detour into corruption will uncover the scandalous truth o ...
In this lighthearted memoir of adventure and self-discovery, Rich Israel takes us on his journey during the tumultuous 1960s. Eschewing societal norms, he hitchhikes across the country, tries his hand at mining, works at a circus, and rides a horse hundreds of miles through the Rocky Mountain wilder ...
With their world destroyed and their space ship malfunctioning, the royal dogizens of Planet Canid have little choice but to crash land on Earth--in the midst of Aunt Maddie's eccentric family planning a Christmas wedding for former playboy, Ryan Madison, and elfenchaun, Dori. After rescuing the Roy ...
Knowing you're dying can be murder. When Gage Adder finds out he has inoperable pancreatic cancer, things really start to look up for him. He leaves his soul-crushing job, joins a nice terminal illness support group, and takes up an exciting new hobby: Serial killing.
The perfect antidote for Boomer, Millennial, and GenXYZ angst! In this witty, entertaining, brilliant satire for the modern age, Rectum Leviticus shares his twisted wisdom on navigating work, relationships, debt, and more in this must-read humor book. "Thick with humor wry and pointed...This thought ...
"A company of spineless, scheming men try to gouge a California country club for every penny it's worth in Sheehan's seamy, steamy comedy of errors." -Kirkus Reviews
"Good book, great read! Laughs, sex, golf, and good wine. What more could you want?" -Danny Jacobson, Creator and Executive ...
What on earth do a dead tomato plant and a paycheck have in common? Maryann Miller explores the fun and foibles of how to survive parenting a large family, while vainly keeping body and mind intact. From School Daze to Summertime Blues, and everything in between, the book airs the Miller laundry wit ...
Organized accountant Zoey Allen likes her life neat and tidy. But it goes from managed to messy when a dead body ends up in her apartment on an ordinary Tuesday night. After uncovering a money-laundering scheme in a routine audit at her company, Zoey finds herself the target in a murderous plot that ...
"A lively beach or commute read, this quick, cheerful parody of aging, capitalism, and marriage offers a little bit of everything--comedy, suspense, romance--and even some insights into the meaning of life."
-Booklife by Publishers Weekly
...
AuthorJimmy Clifton
Usual eBook Price3.99
Paperback Price11.99
Sale Starts
Sale Ends
Sale Price0.99
Love can be quite a trip. Whether it's that first magnetic encounter with a fascinating stranger, the desperate wait for a call that never comes, or even the lies and deceptions of an illicit affair, there's nothing like ...
Tony Flaner is a malingering part-time comedian, full-time sarcastic, who’s never had it hard, and never finished a thing in his life. He’s had twelve years to prepare for his divorce and didn’t. He had his entire life to choose a career and hasn’t. Now time’s up, and he’s in a world of trouble. But ...
(Warning: Do not read this book if you don't understand parody or humor. This is NOT a romance story!) Enjoy the fun, free-style introduction to several very colorful characters from The Fairies Saga and Arlie Undercover series and find out how they’re involved with LOST: the 18th-century time tr ...
Trouble has a way of finding Johnny Tee. That's why after years of consorting with organized crime types, he is set on finding a legitimate job and making a go of it as a functional member of society. He will fail miserably. As a new trilogy begins, Johnny is off to join the world of real estate. ...
Frankie Chandler’s upcoming nuptials suffer a devastating setback when her fiancé, Detective Martin Bowers, is injured on the job. How badly injured? The doctors are mum on his condition, and his colleagues are just as evasive, telling her they don’t know what he was doing on the lonely hillside whe ...
Charlie's marriage has hit rock bottom and his bed is a lonely place. He tries his hand at erotica but will his writing light his wife’s fire or douse it out for good? Charlie’s story has her laughing into her morning latte. Charlies is a house husband and in her eyes his talents remain with past ...
A life for a life. That’s the deal I made with my father to save my best friend from the poisonous magic about to kill him.
With Davian Grymes brought to justice, I thought the memory-warping torture caused by Bliss would finally end. Unlucky for me, this disturbing nightma ...
Ever wonder what children say to Santa Claus at Christmastime? Or what it would be like to don the Santa suit and portray jolly old St. Nick? Follow this volunteer Santa, author Don Kennedy, as he visits kids for the past 25 years at hospitals, military bases, women's and children's shelters, commun ...
“A hilarious, mile-a-minute ride! Amazon Reviewer Getting Ahead Ain’t Easy There’s a fine line between quirky and crazy. How do you know when you’ve crossed it? Everybody’s got their coping mechanisms. Val Fremden is no exception. But when her longtime boyfriend Tom Foreman takes off witho ...
Lucifer is a highly trained alien operative on a critical mission: decode a set of tarot cards and save his species from furry extinction. But when he’s mistaken f ...
Fate and idiocy has brought Johnny to Maui. In the final book of the first Johnny Trilogy, Johnny in Maui, working for an international crime organization against his will. Johnny is finally valuable because of his natural born ability to drive. He will have to drive anything and everything in order ...
A corpse, a cantankerous camel, an entertaining array of suspects, and a yule tide of problems along the way…it must be a Flo and Agnes Christmas! Who would have guessed Agnes would rub Penelope the cranky camel the wrong way? Or that Flo would find herself ankle deep in camel dung while fending off ...
With $120 dollars in his pocket and his life back on track, Johnny heads out to the one place in the world where absolutely nothing can go wrong: Las Vegas. It isn't long before the good-hearted Johnny is involved with the city's most dangerous criminals. The clock is running and the race is on. Joh ...
Cute for kids, a bit twisted and funny for adults! A Guppy??
But I wanted a Puppy! Guppy Butter is the darkly humorous tale of a young girl's wish for a puppy, but who ends up getting a Guppy instead.
She tries her best to meet her father's demands that if she can keep a fish aliv ...
This suburbanite is about to meet a dashing spy… Isabel “Stan” Stanley is stuck in a rut in the DC suburbs. As a wannabe romance writer, she hopes a sexy muse falls into her lap. But she never expected a handsome spy to dive through her sunroof… Pursued by a hail of bullets, international CIA ...
It starts with a hangover. Could it end with an international incident? The Joy (yes, that’s what she calls herself) is the crazy glue holding together this group of reprobates. Meet six tight friends who are the picture of social, financial and ethnic diversity. They’re also struggling togethe ...
When this odd couple signs up to be extras in a fitness video, it’s lights, camera… murder. Sho Tanaka is desperate for normalcy. Uncomfortably getting by in a tiny Texas town after prescription drugs cost him his job, the last thing the disgraced nurse needs is a former tween TV star roping him int ...
”Your dreams and crushed, goodbye!” Daniel North is forced back into the world of Reality TV when one of his former competitors is murdered. Now considered a “celebrity” Daniel must battle against an old adversary and face the music – literally! Celebrity Tone Death sees a bunch of Z-listers take a ...
When TJ, a fat neckbeard small time youtuber living with his mom met a strange girl in his one note town, he thought his luck was changing. What he didn’t know, on her heels, a deepweb gameshow bent on bringing his hick mountain town to its knees, just for sport.
Unleashing flesh hungry z ...
From the best-selling author of "Perhaps I've Said Too Much" and "Romantic as Hell."
Investigative journalists Mittens Meow and Alex Digger race to the rescue when Alex’s favorite baker discovers a shocking theft, threatening the future of her business. Can they uncover the culprit in time? A Christian mystery chapter book for readers 7-12.
Breakups are hard, but going viral during your meltdown is alarmingly easy.
Jake Durham just got dumped, humiliated online, and shoved back into the dating pool with absolutely no idea what he’s doing. Meanwhile, his ex racks up likes and glow-up photos a ...
Finn Dagdaman's six-year-old life was saved with experimental robotic body parts, making him feel even more of an awkward misfit. When the military rediscovers his bionic abilities as an adult and offers to make him a fully bionic super-soldier, part of Finn yearns to be a hero like his brother. ...
Marissa Madison lives with a unique family: an inventive uncle whose experiments usually involve explosions, an artist aunt who collects classic automobiles, a mother caught in a 1950s time warp, and a playboy twin brother who impersonates their eccentric aunt. Ian MacGregor should have be ...
#2 in the Dead Red mystery series When a troubled, homeless veteran covers her vintage Cadillac with paper snowflakes, Lalla Bains decides a showdown is needed. Unfortunately, she arrives too late for that conversation---he’s lying in a pool of blood, stabbed with his own scissors. But someone is ...
Makeup. Mannequins. Murder. When ex-cop-turned-P.I. Maggie Doyle scores a lucrative undercover job at the makeup counter at a fashionable Galway department store, she expects discounted lipstick and an easy paycheck. After an altercation with a customer leads to a dead body in Maggie’s bathtub, she ...
When a staunch atheist is introduced to the Lord Almighty in the most casual—and childish—way, it's not the end of the world. It's a Tuesday. Bradley Michaels is just another man ending just another workday at just another job. He can list the usual complaints, can point his finger at the usual caus ...
What if dogs were royalty and humans their loyal servants? Hop aboard our invisible flying machine as Aunt Maddie and Uncle Horace join an international search for a new dogdom. The Royal Canines are recruiting street dogs who want a better life with devoted humans who speak the language of dogs. As ...
In Fairyland 200 years after the 'happy ending' Cinderella is plotting to divorce Charming. The other royal families aren't happy either. Sleeping Beauty is making up for all that lost time by producing 28 children her husband can't afford. Snow White, the perfect lady is married to a king who be ...
When Lalla and her dad take a trip to Arizona to inspect her new property, Dad disappears. Panicked that he's lost in the desert, Lalla enlists the help of a local tracker and finds him unharmed at the bottom of a mine pit. But dad has company. A very dead local police chief. And within a stone's t ...
