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Besides writing fun, snarky humor and the occasionally-frequent fart joke, I love spending time with my family, coaching my kids' various sports, and successfully turning seemingly unsandwichable things into spectacular sandwiches, while also claiming that I never eat carbs. I assure you, it's not easy to do. I know what you're thinking: this guy sounds complex, a little bit mysterious, and maybe even dashingly handsome, if you haven't been to the optometrist in a while. And you might be right.

My goal with my writing is to engage young readers with fun and adventure. With so many competing forms of entertainment available to our kids (and so many of them mindless), I really try to provide a reading experience like no other.

I value the importance of combining fun with learning and life values. My stories are humorous and adventurous with strong characters and solid life lessons with some potty humor sprinkled in. You gotta give the kids what they want...Hey, it's better to read fart jokes than to play video games, right?


Down with the Dance (Middle School Mayhem Book 1) Down with the Dance (Middle School Mayhem Book 1) FREE! iTunes

Middle School Mayhem: Down with the Dance is the first book in this action-packed, hilarious series.  

Meet Austin Davenport, whose fabulous luck landed him on this earth only eleven short months after his brother, Derek, putting them in the same grade. While Austin's brain power is unmatched, it appears as if his brother got all the athletic gifts and the family butt-chin, meaning their parents love Derek more than Austin, or so it seems. 

Join Austin on his journey through the tumultuous waters of middle school as he navigates the swampy and undeodorized hallways and explores the depths of the cafeteria's seafood surprise. 

Oh, and someone is plotting to take down the Halloween Dance, the one that Austin has his sights set on, so he can take Sophie Rodriguez, a girl way out of his league, but who doesn't seem to know it.  

Can he stay one step ahead of the new principal who has it out for him? Will Austin figure out who the perpetrators are? Will he save the dance in time? Will he wear a diaper on a stakeout?  

This first in a planned series of twelve will have you ROFLing like you never have before.  

The funny and fast-paced nature of this series is meant for middle grade and early young adult readers.  

Beware! This series has the tendency to turn reluctant readers into eager ones.  


Santukkah! (Middle School Mayhem Book 2) Santukkah! (Middle School Mayhem Book 2) (all retailers) iTunes $3.99

Austin Davenport is back! With new characters and a new villain; the only guarantee is more mayhem!  Middle School Mayhem: Santukkah! is the second installment of this planned twelve-book series. This fast-paced and gut-busting series is designed for middle grade and younger YA readers.  

After his brother wins a big sports award, Austin is jealous and wants his time to shine in the spotlight. With the school holiday musical just around the corner, Austin wonders if he's good enough for the lead role but also scared he might fart during a solo. Amplifying the problem is a new kid in town: the golden-voiced, dark-hearted Randy Warblemacher, who will stop at nothing to destroy Austin's chances at fame and fortune, while attempting to steal his girlfriend in the process. 

Oh, and following the chaos from the Halloween Dance, Cherry Avenue's overbearing principal is gunning even harder than before to get Austin expelled.  

Will Austin win the lead and steal the show? Will he gain his parents' affection even though he doesn't have the family butt chin? Can he juggle all of the mayhem that middle school throws at him or will his klutzery destroy all that he holds dear?  

What are you waiting for? I'm not going to answer the questions for you. You have to read the book! I mean, seriously‚Ķ 

Beware! This series has the tendency to turn reluctant readers into eager ones. 


The Science (Un)Fair (Middle School Mayhem Book 3) The Science (Un)Fair (Middle School Mayhem Book 3)  (all retailers) iTunes $4.99

Middle School Mayhem: The Science (Un)Fair 

Thanks for tuning your station to Nerd Nation! Austin Davenport returns in Middle School Mayhem: Science (Un)Fair, the third installment of a planned twelve-book series. And this time, he's playing for keeps. Whatever that means.  

But seriously though, the stakes have never been higher for Austin, whose principal is salivating at the chance to get him expelled. A new website that bashes the overbearing principal surfaces and after no investigation whatsoever, Austin is the one and only suspect. To make matters worse, Randy Warblemacher, notorious cheater and Austin's chief nemesis, offers Austin a wager on the outcome of the science fair and it's an offer too good to refuse, but after a communication mix-up, the lovable underdog finds himself going head to head with his own girlfriend.  

Will the competition be too much for their relationship? Will Austin's design for a fart-suppression device save the environment and the institution of marriage by reducing toxic fume emissions by 40%? Or will his human catapult design transform long-distance travel, rendering the airline industry obsolete?  

Will Austin be expelled for a crime he didn't commit? Can Austin beat Randy? Will Randy play fair (I know, dumb question.) What will Austin do when the love of his life, Sophie Rodriguez, gets caught up in a cheating scandal?  

Questions. Questions. Questions. To find the answers, join Austin Davenport as the misadventures and mayhem continue with nonstop laughs! 

The funny and fast-paced nature of this series is meant for middle grade and early young adult readers.  

Beware! This series has the tendency to turn reluctant readers into eager ones. 


Battle of the Bands (Middle School Mayhem Book 4) Battle of the Bands (Middle School Mayhem Book 4) (all retailers) iTunes $5.99

Middle School Mayhem: Battle of the Bands 

Austin Davenport is back in the mayhemiest adventure yet! Austin's world is forever changed when he learns that nerds have one chance to transform themselves into cool kids. And that's by starting a band.  

When Austin and his crew get fed up at being even less popular than the kid in the marching band who wears his shoes on the wrong feet, they decide to take matters into their own hands.  

When Randy Warblemacher, already a popular kid (and Austin's nemesis) starts his own band that overshadows Austin's, the battle is on! And it's not just with Randy! Some of the area's best bands are in on the action: Goat Turd; 64 Farts, and Cold Sore are all looking to come out on top! 

Join Austin and the gang as they search for and express their badditude. Will the nerds rise to superstardom? Will fame and greed tear the band's friendship apart when half the band falls for the same girl? Will Austin's best friend, Ben, overcome his horrific stage fright?  Will Austin split his leather pants and forever scar the youth of America? 

Middle School Mayhem: Battle of the Bands is the hilarious fourth installment in this planned twelve-book series. This fast-paced and gut-busting series is designed for middle grade and younger YA readers.  

Beware! This series has the tendency to turn reluctant readers into eager ones. 


Weekly

The WEEKLY DEALS is a weekly digest email sent to readers signed up for the genre of your choice. This mailing uses a different sending engine than the Daily Deal itself, so some readers who miss the Daily Deal for whatever reason (spam filters, timing, vacations...) may get this mailing. (And if they get both, even better! we all know the data about how people often need to see things multiple times before they react...)

Double the coverage, double the reminders to grab your deal!

Mailing goes out EARLY on Wednesdays and covers that Wed until the next Wed. So if your deal is on a Tuesday only and you submit it the Monday before - that won't work for the weekly mailing. But if you submit on Monday for a Daily Deal on Tuesday, and your book is on sale Tues-Thurs, for example, then you're good - Daily Deal will go out on Tuesday and you'll be included in the Weekly Deals on Wed. showing the end of your sale on Thursday.

The Most Powerful Marketing

INTRODUCE YOU & YOUR SERIES TO READERS WITH AN EXCLUSIVE DEDICATED MAILING.

The most powerful weapon in the AXP arsenal - can generate hundreds of sales/downloads. Each mailing custom designed for you, featuring all your books/audio, short bio and any special promotions you'd like to include.

You'll also get a permanent spot like this in the AXP "Discover Series" library.

I personally do one of these with every new book launch --- usually with the first book in my series and the new book on sale. It crushes every time!

Spotlight Ad

I'll create an ad for you that will run at the top of the Book Fair page - the page people are sent to after they enter the giveaway.

Not only will you get more exposure, but you can keep the ad!

Push a free, 99c or full price book - whatever you need promoting. Doesn't have to be the same book in the giveaway!