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Besides writing fun, snarky humor and the occasionally-frequent fart joke, I love spending time with my family, coaching my kids' various sports, and successfully turning seemingly unsandwichable things into spectacular sandwiches, while also claiming that I never eat carbs. I assure you, it's not easy to do. I know what you're thinking: this guy sounds complex, a little bit mysterious, and maybe even dashingly handsome, if you haven't been to the optometrist in a while. And you might be right.

My goal with my writing is to engage young readers with fun and adventure. With so many competing forms of entertainment available to our kids (and so many of them mindless), I really try to provide a reading experience like no other.

I value the importance of combining fun with learning and life values. My stories are humorous and adventurous with strong characters and solid life lessons with some potty humor sprinkled in. You gotta give the kids what they want...Hey, it's better to read fart jokes than to play video games, right?


Down with the Dance (Middle School Mayhem Book 1) Down with the Dance (Middle School Mayhem Book 1) FREE! iTunes

Middle School Mayhem: Down with the Dance is the first book in this action-packed, hilarious series.  

Meet Austin Davenport, whose fabulous luck landed him on this earth only eleven short months after his brother, Derek, putting them in the same grade. While Austin's brain power is unmatched, it appears as if his brother got all the athletic gifts and the family butt-chin, meaning their parents love Derek more than Austin, or so it seems. 

Join Austin on his journey through the tumultuous waters of middle school as he navigates the swampy and undeodorized hallways and explores the depths of the cafeteria's seafood surprise. 

Oh, and someone is plotting to take down the Halloween Dance, the one that Austin has his sights set on, so he can take Sophie Rodriguez, a girl way out of his league, but who doesn't seem to know it.  

Can he stay one step ahead of the new principal who has it out for him? Will Austin figure out who the perpetrators are? Will he save the dance in time? Will he wear a diaper on a stakeout?  

This first in a planned series of twelve will have you ROFLing like you never have before.  

The funny and fast-paced nature of this series is meant for middle grade and early young adult readers.  

Beware! This series has the tendency to turn reluctant readers into eager ones.  


Santukkah! (Middle School Mayhem Book 2) Santukkah! (Middle School Mayhem Book 2) (all retailers) iTunes $3.99

Austin Davenport is back! With new characters and a new villain; the only guarantee is more mayhem!  Middle School Mayhem: Santukkah! is the second installment of this planned twelve-book series. This fast-paced and gut-busting series is designed for middle grade and younger YA readers.  

After his brother wins a big sports award, Austin is jealous and wants his time to shine in the spotlight. With the school holiday musical just around the corner, Austin wonders if he's good enough for the lead role but also scared he might fart during a solo. Amplifying the problem is a new kid in town: the golden-voiced, dark-hearted Randy Warblemacher, who will stop at nothing to destroy Austin's chances at fame and fortune, while attempting to steal his girlfriend in the process. 

Oh, and following the chaos from the Halloween Dance, Cherry Avenue's overbearing principal is gunning even harder than before to get Austin expelled.  

Will Austin win the lead and steal the show? Will he gain his parents' affection even though he doesn't have the family butt chin? Can he juggle all of the mayhem that middle school throws at him or will his klutzery destroy all that he holds dear?  

What are you waiting for? I'm not going to answer the questions for you. You have to read the book! I mean, seriously‚Ķ 

Beware! This series has the tendency to turn reluctant readers into eager ones. 


The Science (Un)Fair (Middle School Mayhem Book 3) The Science (Un)Fair (Middle School Mayhem Book 3)  (all retailers) iTunes $4.99

Middle School Mayhem: The Science (Un)Fair 

Thanks for tuning your station to Nerd Nation! Austin Davenport returns in Middle School Mayhem: Science (Un)Fair, the third installment of a planned twelve-book series. And this time, he's playing for keeps. Whatever that means.  

But seriously though, the stakes have never been higher for Austin, whose principal is salivating at the chance to get him expelled. A new website that bashes the overbearing principal surfaces and after no investigation whatsoever, Austin is the one and only suspect. To make matters worse, Randy Warblemacher, notorious cheater and Austin's chief nemesis, offers Austin a wager on the outcome of the science fair and it's an offer too good to refuse, but after a communication mix-up, the lovable underdog finds himself going head to head with his own girlfriend.  

Will the competition be too much for their relationship? Will Austin's design for a fart-suppression device save the environment and the institution of marriage by reducing toxic fume emissions by 40%? Or will his human catapult design transform long-distance travel, rendering the airline industry obsolete?  

Will Austin be expelled for a crime he didn't commit? Can Austin beat Randy? Will Randy play fair (I know, dumb question.) What will Austin do when the love of his life, Sophie Rodriguez, gets caught up in a cheating scandal?  

Questions. Questions. Questions. To find the answers, join Austin Davenport as the misadventures and mayhem continue with nonstop laughs! 

The funny and fast-paced nature of this series is meant for middle grade and early young adult readers.  

Beware! This series has the tendency to turn reluctant readers into eager ones. 


Battle of the Bands (Middle School Mayhem Book 4) Battle of the Bands (Middle School Mayhem Book 4) (all retailers) iTunes $5.99

Middle School Mayhem: Battle of the Bands 

Austin Davenport is back in the mayhemiest adventure yet! Austin's world is forever changed when he learns that nerds have one chance to transform themselves into cool kids. And that's by starting a band.  

When Austin and his crew get fed up at being even less popular than the kid in the marching band who wears his shoes on the wrong feet, they decide to take matters into their own hands.  

When Randy Warblemacher, already a popular kid (and Austin's nemesis) starts his own band that overshadows Austin's, the battle is on! And it's not just with Randy! Some of the area's best bands are in on the action: Goat Turd; 64 Farts, and Cold Sore are all looking to come out on top! 

Join Austin and the gang as they search for and express their badditude. Will the nerds rise to superstardom? Will fame and greed tear the band's friendship apart when half the band falls for the same girl? Will Austin's best friend, Ben, overcome his horrific stage fright?  Will Austin split his leather pants and forever scar the youth of America? 

Middle School Mayhem: Battle of the Bands is the hilarious fourth installment in this planned twelve-book series. This fast-paced and gut-busting series is designed for middle grade and younger YA readers.  

Beware! This series has the tendency to turn reluctant readers into eager ones.